Let's be honest.
Tuesdays are disgusting.
Fortunately, Amber and I (her a little more consistently than me) are attempting to bring the world a little relief. So, instead of thinking of all the reasons Tuesdays suck, and there are a lot of reasons, come on this journey of justification.
Hey, it's okay...
...to consider moving to a city because they have something called Apple Fest.
...to not eat Pop-Tarts for dinner because you're trying to be healthier, even though they're the only thing you have and you're starting to get a serious headache, but to then plan on having pizza and ice cream for lunch the next day.
...if you miss your old roommates so much that you consider scrapping the whole master's degree thing and hauling ass to Montana to see if they'll let you live with them.
...to think Bath and Body Works is one of the biggest ongoing scams in this country. And to still get sucked in when that perky salesgirl insists that it's "buy 12, get one free!"
...to hide in your room first thing in the morning because you hear your roommate in the kitchen and he always insists on, you know, talking.
...to be amused, and slightly flattered, to know your roommate is avoiding you, too.
...if you dropped one of your two classes after announcing to your crunchy, granola teacher you "hate nature".
...if you dropped the other one of your two classes when your teacher said, "Everyone in here has had a Statistics course, right?"
Showing posts with label Hey It's Okay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hey It's Okay. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Hey, it's okay Tuesdays
Hey, it's okay...
...if you have to stay in Boone for another semester to finish grad school. (Wait, is it really okay?)
...if you were only recently introduced to the sci-fi series Firefly, and you absolutely loved it.
...if you are actually getting sick of eating eggs, bacon, steak, sausage and/or chicken for every single meal.
...to hold back tears when the gentleman at the coffee shop tells you he ran out of chai.
...to believe that every single person in the Financial Aid department at App State is really a robot.
...to believe that no one in the Financial Aid department at App State is capable of properly pronouncing "FAFSA."
...to go to Target with the intent of buying 2 or 3 nice tops for Spring/Summer and instead spend $100.75 on, well, other things.
...if you had absolutely no idea that wiper blades were supposed to be changed every six months. Or even every year, for that matter.
...to be all but peeing yourself with anticipation because the love of your life just returned from Finland after a year and a half of being a super sassy Mormon missionary.
...if you've had your Netflix rental for over a month and are still telling yourself that you will definitely watch it this week. Probably.
...to have no clue if you'll ever have children, but to still want that paint that allows you to draw on the walls.
...if you appear to be primarily attractive to Hispanic and/or 50+ men. (Not sure what that's about.)
...to judge the hell out of your neighbors who have the cutest puppy in the world, and yet seem completely disinterested in it.
...to walk through Pier One singing just a little too loudly to Donna Summer's "Last Dance", use their bathroom and then not buy anything.
...if you have to stay in Boone for another semester to finish grad school. (Wait, is it really okay?)
...if you were only recently introduced to the sci-fi series Firefly, and you absolutely loved it.
...if you are actually getting sick of eating eggs, bacon, steak, sausage and/or chicken for every single meal.
...to hold back tears when the gentleman at the coffee shop tells you he ran out of chai.
...to believe that every single person in the Financial Aid department at App State is really a robot.
...to believe that no one in the Financial Aid department at App State is capable of properly pronouncing "FAFSA."
...to go to Target with the intent of buying 2 or 3 nice tops for Spring/Summer and instead spend $100.75 on, well, other things.
...if you had absolutely no idea that wiper blades were supposed to be changed every six months. Or even every year, for that matter.
...to be all but peeing yourself with anticipation because the love of your life just returned from Finland after a year and a half of being a super sassy Mormon missionary.
...if you've had your Netflix rental for over a month and are still telling yourself that you will definitely watch it this week. Probably.
...to have no clue if you'll ever have children, but to still want that paint that allows you to draw on the walls.
...if you appear to be primarily attractive to Hispanic and/or 50+ men. (Not sure what that's about.)
...to judge the hell out of your neighbors who have the cutest puppy in the world, and yet seem completely disinterested in it.
...to walk through Pier One singing just a little too loudly to Donna Summer's "Last Dance", use their bathroom and then not buy anything.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Hey, it's okay Tuesdays
I hope you all enjoyed a prosperous and plentiful Druid Winter Solstice Light Festival. My gift to you all is the gift of blog, for it has been brought to my attention that I've been sucking something fierce at that. Now, in the holiday tradition of Amber at Airing My Dirty Laundry..., I give you validation.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you once bought unfrosted Pop-Tarts in an attempt to be "healthy."
...if, when you were 16 years old, you slept on the couch because you were convinced a tiny woodland creature was living in your headboard.
...to love Muppets.
...to hate puppets.
...if the highlights of your upcoming semester include a Spring Break trip to Seattle to see your brother, popping over to San Diego for a conference (and to frolic with SurferWife) and your dearest redheaded, Mormon tater tot, Lisa, returning to the U.S. from her mission in Finland.
...if you are damn near positive the scanner just growled at you.
...if you yelled a few choice phrases (such as "Butterfly nuggets!" and "Mrs. Clause's holiday wafers!") after dropping and shattering one of your parents' Christmas plates.
...if your dad walked past you and commented, "Your blog is old," to which you respectfully replied, "You are."
...if an adequate supply of doughnuts and cupcakes has become your most vital criteria for selecting a future city of semi-permanent residence.
...to not appreciate it when someone starts a sentence with, "I'm not complaining, but..." Yes, you are. Either own it or shut your hole.
...if Hoda Kotb taught you that you like Flo Rida.
...if you only got 4 hours of sleep last night because you couldn't stop wondering what the difference really is between grape, cherry and plum tomatoes.
...if the only reason you can pick Reggie Bush out of a lineup is thanks to Kim Kardashian.
...if you judged the hell out of the woman at the Chinese restaurant last night whom you overheard ask the waitress, "Do you have any ramen?"
...to love Harry Connick, Jr. so much, you wish you could buy him a fish sandwich.
...to have similar feelings for DVR.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you once bought unfrosted Pop-Tarts in an attempt to be "healthy."
...if, when you were 16 years old, you slept on the couch because you were convinced a tiny woodland creature was living in your headboard.
...to love Muppets.
...to hate puppets.
...if the highlights of your upcoming semester include a Spring Break trip to Seattle to see your brother, popping over to San Diego for a conference (and to frolic with SurferWife) and your dearest redheaded, Mormon tater tot, Lisa, returning to the U.S. from her mission in Finland.
...if you are damn near positive the scanner just growled at you.
...if you yelled a few choice phrases (such as "Butterfly nuggets!" and "Mrs. Clause's holiday wafers!") after dropping and shattering one of your parents' Christmas plates.
...if your dad walked past you and commented, "Your blog is old," to which you respectfully replied, "You are."
...if an adequate supply of doughnuts and cupcakes has become your most vital criteria for selecting a future city of semi-permanent residence.
...to not appreciate it when someone starts a sentence with, "I'm not complaining, but..." Yes, you are. Either own it or shut your hole.
...if Hoda Kotb taught you that you like Flo Rida.
...if you only got 4 hours of sleep last night because you couldn't stop wondering what the difference really is between grape, cherry and plum tomatoes.
...if the only reason you can pick Reggie Bush out of a lineup is thanks to Kim Kardashian.
...if you judged the hell out of the woman at the Chinese restaurant last night whom you overheard ask the waitress, "Do you have any ramen?"
...to love Harry Connick, Jr. so much, you wish you could buy him a fish sandwich.
...to have similar feelings for DVR.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Hey, It's Okay... Wednesday?
I have been without the internet for more than a week.
And now, I'm back in Indiana and have been rewarded, by the gods of corn and makeshift suspenders, with the gift of the world wide interweb.
In an effort to Haley Joel Osment it forward, I've decided to extend "Hey, it's okay" Tuesdays to Wednesday. Also, I'm tired and I have to pee too badly to write something wordy and loaded with effort.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you watched the AMAs...and then wished you could unwatch it.
...if you never liked Fantasia. The movie, not Barrino.
...if you had to call your dad in order to successfully remove a tiny rodent from the kitchen sink. Twice.
...if mountains make you claustrophobic and you're tired of people telling you how pretty they are.
...to encourage your cat's OCD and auditory hallucinations for funsies.
...if you want to punch someone in the face when they say, "Look at the bright side!" or "It could be worse!" Of course it could be worse. I don't care. If I cared, I wouldn't be complaining in the first place. Blow your sunshine up someone else's skirt.
...to insult the mother of every person between North Carolina and Indiana who doesn't understand that the left lane is still, as it turns out, only for passing.
...to, quite consistently, choke on your own spit.
...if, you too, underestimated the refreshing power of a Fresca.
And now, I'm back in Indiana and have been rewarded, by the gods of corn and makeshift suspenders, with the gift of the world wide interweb.
In an effort to Haley Joel Osment it forward, I've decided to extend "Hey, it's okay" Tuesdays to Wednesday. Also, I'm tired and I have to pee too badly to write something wordy and loaded with effort.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you watched the AMAs...and then wished you could unwatch it.
...if you never liked Fantasia. The movie, not Barrino.
...if you had to call your dad in order to successfully remove a tiny rodent from the kitchen sink. Twice.
...if mountains make you claustrophobic and you're tired of people telling you how pretty they are.
...to encourage your cat's OCD and auditory hallucinations for funsies.
...if you want to punch someone in the face when they say, "Look at the bright side!" or "It could be worse!" Of course it could be worse. I don't care. If I cared, I wouldn't be complaining in the first place. Blow your sunshine up someone else's skirt.
...to insult the mother of every person between North Carolina and Indiana who doesn't understand that the left lane is still, as it turns out, only for passing.
...to, quite consistently, choke on your own spit.
...if, you too, underestimated the refreshing power of a Fresca.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Hey, It's Okay Tuesdays
This post is specifically for SurferWife and Christina, because I love them both in very special, yet very different ways. Also, they tend to nag me the most when I haven't posted in a while.
If you want to know why I do this, then visit Amber at Airing My Dirty Laundry... I don't have time to go into it. THERE'S NO TIME!
Hey, it's okay...
...if you got in trouble with one client for swearing, and then went to the next client and happily exchanged 4-letter words.
...if you didn't read an e-mail as closely as you should've, woke up late to register for next semester, got shut out of one of your classes and then ruined your entire schedule for the Spring.
...if you find yourself brushing your teeth and thinking, "Didn't I just do this yesterday?"
...to be a little offended when a 3-year old doesn't think your drawing of a snake is worthy of coloring.
...if you've got duct tape holding one of your slippers together and you go to Target and drop $100 on sweaters.
...to be excited about the possibility of patronizing a restaurant in Raleigh called "Irregardless."
...if you still don't understand why Kia thinks rapping hamster commercials are the best way to sell a car.
...if you're using this blog post to put off taking a shower.
If you want to know why I do this, then visit Amber at Airing My Dirty Laundry... I don't have time to go into it. THERE'S NO TIME!
Hey, it's okay...
...if you got in trouble with one client for swearing, and then went to the next client and happily exchanged 4-letter words.
...if you didn't read an e-mail as closely as you should've, woke up late to register for next semester, got shut out of one of your classes and then ruined your entire schedule for the Spring.
...if you find yourself brushing your teeth and thinking, "Didn't I just do this yesterday?"
...to be a little offended when a 3-year old doesn't think your drawing of a snake is worthy of coloring.
...if you've got duct tape holding one of your slippers together and you go to Target and drop $100 on sweaters.
...to be excited about the possibility of patronizing a restaurant in Raleigh called "Irregardless."
...if you still don't understand why Kia thinks rapping hamster commercials are the best way to sell a car.
...if you're using this blog post to put off taking a shower.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Hey, It's Okay Tuesdays
It's Tuesday and damned if it's not okay!
I'm pretty sure Amber will back me up on this.
Hey, it's okay...
...if, when you go to go to your yearly lady appointment, you snort when the nurse practitioner says, "You may feel some slight discomfort."
...if, on the way to your yearly lady appointment, you slightly rear-end the car in front of you while trying to parallel park.
...to almost run over a student when backing up after rear-ending the car in front of you while trying to parallel park.
...to have the dreidel song stuck in your head, even though it is way too soon to be thinking about Hanukkah. Especially if you're not even Jewish.
...if you pray to the gods of jelly (somebody please get that reference) that your car gets fixed and your financial aid comes through just in time for you to hop in the car and drive down to Florida to see Lisa, pop culture goddess and barista extraordinaire.
...to resent when the temperature pops back up to 67 degrees because you had already made your peace with cooler temperatures and damn it, you want to wear sweaters and scarves!
...to be truly disgusted with Kelloggs for creating the pumpkin pie flavored Pop-Tart and then only making it available at select stores across the US. Pop-Tart bastards.
...to know that while you have plenty of work assigned by your GA boss that needs to be finished tonight, you're probably going to watch another season of Weeds first.
I'm pretty sure Amber will back me up on this.
Hey, it's okay...
...if, when you go to go to your yearly lady appointment, you snort when the nurse practitioner says, "You may feel some slight discomfort."
...if, on the way to your yearly lady appointment, you slightly rear-end the car in front of you while trying to parallel park.
...to almost run over a student when backing up after rear-ending the car in front of you while trying to parallel park.
...to have the dreidel song stuck in your head, even though it is way too soon to be thinking about Hanukkah. Especially if you're not even Jewish.
...if you pray to the gods of jelly (somebody please get that reference) that your car gets fixed and your financial aid comes through just in time for you to hop in the car and drive down to Florida to see Lisa, pop culture goddess and barista extraordinaire.
...to resent when the temperature pops back up to 67 degrees because you had already made your peace with cooler temperatures and damn it, you want to wear sweaters and scarves!
...to be truly disgusted with Kelloggs for creating the pumpkin pie flavored Pop-Tart and then only making it available at select stores across the US. Pop-Tart bastards.
...to know that while you have plenty of work assigned by your GA boss that needs to be finished tonight, you're probably going to watch another season of Weeds first.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Hey, It's Okay Tuesdays
Amber says things. She said them first. Seriously. Go see for yourself. Shit's funny, too.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you're sitting in traffic, absently singing along to the radio until you realize that the song to which you somehow know all the lyrics is a f@#$ing Taylor Swift song.
...if it's pouring outside and you're not certain all your windows are up, but you are way too lazy to go outside and check it out.
...to like your clients better when they bring ribs and puppy chow to sessions.
...if you went into Hallmark looking for a Halloween card and when the helpful Hallmark employee came over and commented, "We have a great Halloween selection!", you assumed he was being sarcastic and replied with a snarky, "I beg to differ..."
...if you teased a 6-month old baby by waving pudding in front of his face just to see if his eyes would track it. (They did.)
...to really hate the new Burger King jingle about breakfast. Anyone who would do that to something sacred like breakfast is not getting my money.
...to be wildly disappointed when you tell someone you prefer it (your coffee) strong and black and he doesn't smile, snort or even respond with a half-assed "That's what she said."
...if you are considering getting two masters degrees because in your mind, it basically equals a Ph.D.
...to detest the graphic novel genre, and any movies based on one.
...if, after seeing I Am Legend for the first time, you felt that the story was unnecessary, but you understood when Will Smith's character got upset because a stranger cooked his bacon.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you're sitting in traffic, absently singing along to the radio until you realize that the song to which you somehow know all the lyrics is a f@#$ing Taylor Swift song.
...if it's pouring outside and you're not certain all your windows are up, but you are way too lazy to go outside and check it out.
...to like your clients better when they bring ribs and puppy chow to sessions.
...if you went into Hallmark looking for a Halloween card and when the helpful Hallmark employee came over and commented, "We have a great Halloween selection!", you assumed he was being sarcastic and replied with a snarky, "I beg to differ..."
...if you teased a 6-month old baby by waving pudding in front of his face just to see if his eyes would track it. (They did.)
...to really hate the new Burger King jingle about breakfast. Anyone who would do that to something sacred like breakfast is not getting my money.
...to be wildly disappointed when you tell someone you prefer it (your coffee) strong and black and he doesn't smile, snort or even respond with a half-assed "That's what she said."
...if you are considering getting two masters degrees because in your mind, it basically equals a Ph.D.
...to detest the graphic novel genre, and any movies based on one.
...if, after seeing I Am Legend for the first time, you felt that the story was unnecessary, but you understood when Will Smith's character got upset because a stranger cooked his bacon.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Hey, It's Okay Tuesdays
It's Tuesday, so now I shall discuss the things with the people at the place that happened that one time. And stuff.
If you need clarification, talk to Amber. She knows what I'm talking about.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you get really tired of everyone wanting to have a super fun carry-in style cookout, because you get really tired of explaining to people that you don't super fun cook.
...if your birthday wish for your brother was actually you telling him about a restaurant you want to patronize whenever you visit.
...if your birthday wish for your mother was largely unintelligible but had something to do with ponies and streudel.
...if you kind of love Meghan McCain after seeing her on Chelsea Lately.
...to watchWeeds when you have a bad day because no matter what's going on, you're not a single suburban mother of two, so S.O.L. that you had to resort to selling pot to all the men in your gated community to maintain your standard of living.
...if you spent 3 hours yesterday trying to figure out why the DVD player on your laptop wouldn't work because you've got the 3rd season of The Tudors from Netflix and damn it, you want to watch it!
...if you're really excited to go to bed because the sooner you wake up, the sooner you get to eat again.
...if you miss the highly crabby, yet highly efficient financial aid department at IU.
...if you are the only person in the entire world who can't wear Toms due to some oddly shaped, yet still attractive, feet.
...if, after less than 24 hours without carbs, you are having some very inappropriate thoughts about your dear friend, Toast.
If you need clarification, talk to Amber. She knows what I'm talking about.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you get really tired of everyone wanting to have a super fun carry-in style cookout, because you get really tired of explaining to people that you don't super fun cook.
...if your birthday wish for your brother was actually you telling him about a restaurant you want to patronize whenever you visit.
...if your birthday wish for your mother was largely unintelligible but had something to do with ponies and streudel.
...if you kind of love Meghan McCain after seeing her on Chelsea Lately.
...to watchWeeds when you have a bad day because no matter what's going on, you're not a single suburban mother of two, so S.O.L. that you had to resort to selling pot to all the men in your gated community to maintain your standard of living.
...if you spent 3 hours yesterday trying to figure out why the DVD player on your laptop wouldn't work because you've got the 3rd season of The Tudors from Netflix and damn it, you want to watch it!
...if you're really excited to go to bed because the sooner you wake up, the sooner you get to eat again.
...if you miss the highly crabby, yet highly efficient financial aid department at IU.
...if you are the only person in the entire world who can't wear Toms due to some oddly shaped, yet still attractive, feet.
...if, after less than 24 hours without carbs, you are having some very inappropriate thoughts about your dear friend, Toast.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Joey doesn't share food
Hey, it's Tuesday.
Just ask Amber. I'm pretty sure she'll agree with me that it is, in fact, Tuesday.
Prepare to be validated.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you put about $25 into a tomato plant, 2 bags of soil, a giant flower pot and a wire cage and you only got 3 damn tomatoes out of the whole deal.
...to think the Charmin cartoon bears with toilet paper stuck to their butts are creepy as hell.
...if you heif out at a Mexican restaurant and on your way out, catch the faint aroma of Burger King and think, "That smells good."
...if you are so sick of that Train song, Soul Sister, you could spit on a gerbil.
...to love the Man vs. Food guy even if your blogsbian finds him foul and untrustworthy.
...if you want to blackmail someone into unmaking that f---ed up looking, weird-ass, animated owl movie.
...if you think most men are giant babies about getting sick. I mean, I don't know about you guys but my dad taught me to walk it off.
...if you thought the movie The Back-Up Plan was total trash, but perhaps you also thought it was romantic as hell that the male lead created and named a cheese after his baby mama (and wish someone would do the same for you someday).
...if, despite having an older brother, going to kindergarten and having excellent parents, you still do not like to share.
Just ask Amber. I'm pretty sure she'll agree with me that it is, in fact, Tuesday.
Prepare to be validated.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you put about $25 into a tomato plant, 2 bags of soil, a giant flower pot and a wire cage and you only got 3 damn tomatoes out of the whole deal.
...to think the Charmin cartoon bears with toilet paper stuck to their butts are creepy as hell.
...if you heif out at a Mexican restaurant and on your way out, catch the faint aroma of Burger King and think, "That smells good."
...if you are so sick of that Train song, Soul Sister, you could spit on a gerbil.
...to love the Man vs. Food guy even if your blogsbian finds him foul and untrustworthy.
...if you want to blackmail someone into unmaking that f---ed up looking, weird-ass, animated owl movie.
...if you think most men are giant babies about getting sick. I mean, I don't know about you guys but my dad taught me to walk it off.
...if you thought the movie The Back-Up Plan was total trash, but perhaps you also thought it was romantic as hell that the male lead created and named a cheese after his baby mama (and wish someone would do the same for you someday).
...if, despite having an older brother, going to kindergarten and having excellent parents, you still do not like to share.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Hey, It's Okay Tuesdays
Tuesdays are for winners.
Just ask Amber at Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock at a Time.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you really hate those damn Lipton Iced Tea commercials with the talking fish.
...if you have a giant hissy over a bug on the floor, and yet you've named the daddy long legs in the bathroom.
...to mouth the words to "Colors of the Wind" from Disney's Pocahontas in an overly-dramatic, tormented, teen angsty sort of way.
...to tell the brand new scanner at work to "shut up and take it."
...if your drive through Kentucky felt incomplete because at no point did you have to tell Lexington to "suck it."
...to eat shark at the end of Shark Week. (Okay, that might not really be okay, but I did it.)
...if you tried to sell your clothing to a consignment shop and they DIDN'T WANT ANY OF IT.
...if the three things you missed about your current living space are 1) your shower, 2) your bed and 3) your friends. In that order.
...to eat hash browns off the kitchen floor.
Just ask Amber at Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock at a Time.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you really hate those damn Lipton Iced Tea commercials with the talking fish.
...if you have a giant hissy over a bug on the floor, and yet you've named the daddy long legs in the bathroom.
...to mouth the words to "Colors of the Wind" from Disney's Pocahontas in an overly-dramatic, tormented, teen angsty sort of way.
...to tell the brand new scanner at work to "shut up and take it."
...if your drive through Kentucky felt incomplete because at no point did you have to tell Lexington to "suck it."
...to eat shark at the end of Shark Week. (Okay, that might not really be okay, but I did it.)
...if you tried to sell your clothing to a consignment shop and they DIDN'T WANT ANY OF IT.
...if the three things you missed about your current living space are 1) your shower, 2) your bed and 3) your friends. In that order.
...to eat hash browns off the kitchen floor.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Hey, It's Okay Tuesdays
Hey!
It's that thing that happens sometimes on Tuesdays when I remember!
Amber did it first!
I'm doing it now!
I don't know why we're yelling!
Hey, it's okay...
...if you forget how to turn your brights off when approaching an oncoming car. It is NOT okay to then just turn off your headlights altogether.
...to update your Netflix membership from the smallest, cheapest plan to the next size up because you recently became addicted to instantly watching The Tudors and couldn't possibly stop after just three episodes.
...if you make highly graphic and inappropriate noises (much like they do on The Tudors) while scratching one of the 9 bug bites on your feet.
...to stand in the shower for a full minute before you remember what you were doing.
...if you need to drive across town to your friend's house to poop because your "plumber" turned off the water and then disappeared for 3 hours.
...to be in love with your blogsbian Surferwife and to dream of the day you two can live together with your baby Latina daughter, Elephantia, and eat Fritos straight from the bag!
...not to cook if you have a wonderful friend who loves to cook for you whenever she's in town.
...if you watched 20 minutes of The Time Traveler's Wife and spent 15 of those minutes wishing you were dead.
...if one side of your purse smells like burned coffee while the other side smells like a Strawberry Shortcake doll that got left out in the rain one too many times.
It's that thing that happens sometimes on Tuesdays when I remember!
Amber did it first!
I'm doing it now!
I don't know why we're yelling!
Hey, it's okay...
...if you forget how to turn your brights off when approaching an oncoming car. It is NOT okay to then just turn off your headlights altogether.
...to update your Netflix membership from the smallest, cheapest plan to the next size up because you recently became addicted to instantly watching The Tudors and couldn't possibly stop after just three episodes.
...if you make highly graphic and inappropriate noises (much like they do on The Tudors) while scratching one of the 9 bug bites on your feet.
...to stand in the shower for a full minute before you remember what you were doing.
...if you need to drive across town to your friend's house to poop because your "plumber" turned off the water and then disappeared for 3 hours.
...to be in love with your blogsbian Surferwife and to dream of the day you two can live together with your baby Latina daughter, Elephantia, and eat Fritos straight from the bag!
...not to cook if you have a wonderful friend who loves to cook for you whenever she's in town.
...if you watched 20 minutes of The Time Traveler's Wife and spent 15 of those minutes wishing you were dead.
...if one side of your purse smells like burned coffee while the other side smells like a Strawberry Shortcake doll that got left out in the rain one too many times.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Hey, It's Okay Tuesdays
I like to do this every now and then for a couple reasons:
1) It makes me feel better about myself.
2) Amber at Airing My Dirty Laundry... does it and I think she's swell.
3) I'm having trouble making coherent sentences, so the shorter the better.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you were out in the sun for 7 hours last Sunday and now your pasty ass is burned to shit.
...if it took 10 whole minutes and two friends to help you find your car in a parking lot. Again.
...to be super excited your mama is coming to visit so you can show her everything you hate about your current town of residence.
...if your car went from making an endearing, high-pitched whine to a gut-wrenching, bowel moving grinding noise.
...to eat an enchilada for breakfast and a burrito for dinner.
...if you could actually feel your brain leaking out of your ears while you watched The Bounty Hunter.
...if your friend Consuela was kind enough to loan you her car while yours is in the shop... and then you promptly left her car keys on the 3rd floor of the T-comm building.
...to wish Cheesy Blasters were a real thing.
1) It makes me feel better about myself.
2) Amber at Airing My Dirty Laundry... does it and I think she's swell.
3) I'm having trouble making coherent sentences, so the shorter the better.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you were out in the sun for 7 hours last Sunday and now your pasty ass is burned to shit.
...if it took 10 whole minutes and two friends to help you find your car in a parking lot. Again.
...to be super excited your mama is coming to visit so you can show her everything you hate about your current town of residence.
...if your car went from making an endearing, high-pitched whine to a gut-wrenching, bowel moving grinding noise.
...to eat an enchilada for breakfast and a burrito for dinner.
...if you could actually feel your brain leaking out of your ears while you watched The Bounty Hunter.
...if your friend Consuela was kind enough to loan you her car while yours is in the shop... and then you promptly left her car keys on the 3rd floor of the T-comm building.
...to wish Cheesy Blasters were a real thing.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Hey, It's Okay... Wednesday?
Hey, it's okay...
...if you want to be interviewed on national television just so you can see how many times they would have to censor your language.
...if you wonder just what in the hell happened to Adrien Brody's ability to make a good movie.
...if you watched a horrible movie called Extract and darn near lost your faith in Jason Bateman.
...that while driving a secluded, country road, you saw a slack-jawed, weathered old man, leaning back in his lawn chair and within the 2.7 seconds it took you to pass him, you thought, "Oh shit, he's dead! Oh good, he's alive. Wait, is he dead? Nope, pretty sure he's alive."
...if you think giving a pineapple as a gift is one of the highest acts of friendship and affection.
...if you hate it when a server at a restaurant who is clearly younger than you refers to you as "sweetie", "hon" or "darling."
...if you found blogging this week to be just really, well, you know, like... hard.
...if you want to be interviewed on national television just so you can see how many times they would have to censor your language.
...if you wonder just what in the hell happened to Adrien Brody's ability to make a good movie.
...if you watched a horrible movie called Extract and darn near lost your faith in Jason Bateman.
...that while driving a secluded, country road, you saw a slack-jawed, weathered old man, leaning back in his lawn chair and within the 2.7 seconds it took you to pass him, you thought, "Oh shit, he's dead! Oh good, he's alive. Wait, is he dead? Nope, pretty sure he's alive."
...if you think giving a pineapple as a gift is one of the highest acts of friendship and affection.
...if you hate it when a server at a restaurant who is clearly younger than you refers to you as "sweetie", "hon" or "darling."
...if you found blogging this week to be just really, well, you know, like... hard.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Hey, It's Okay Tuesdays
I've been slacking on this particular feature the last couple weeks.
If you want some more quality "Hey, it's okay" fodder, then go visit Amber at Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock at a Time.
Hey, it's okay...
...to figuratively bang your head against a wall when you learn none of your friends know who Sly and the Family Stone is.
...if you hate that guy who always brings his guitar to parties and starts singing Green Day.
...to believe for a full five minutes that April has 28 days.
...to use a giant chest of drawers as an excuse to get out of town.
...to consider moving to Boston so you can finally live amongst fellow baseball fans.
...if you are half annoyed/half relieved that you promised someone else you'd see the new Twilight movie with them.
...if you keep dreaming about groundhogs.
...to miss seeing men in baseball caps and t-shirts rather than croakies and polos.
If you want some more quality "Hey, it's okay" fodder, then go visit Amber at Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock at a Time.
Hey, it's okay...
...to figuratively bang your head against a wall when you learn none of your friends know who Sly and the Family Stone is.
...if you hate that guy who always brings his guitar to parties and starts singing Green Day.
...to believe for a full five minutes that April has 28 days.
...to use a giant chest of drawers as an excuse to get out of town.
...to consider moving to Boston so you can finally live amongst fellow baseball fans.
...if you are half annoyed/half relieved that you promised someone else you'd see the new Twilight movie with them.
...if you keep dreaming about groundhogs.
...to miss seeing men in baseball caps and t-shirts rather than croakies and polos.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Hey, It's Okay... Wednesday?
Don't judge me.
Usually, I make a lot of excuses for my behavior on Tuesdays and I got the idea from this lady. Go forth, click and be entertained.
Hey, it's okay...
...to never seem to be able to make that fancy, S-shaped poop Dr. Oz and Oprah are always talking about.
...if you have absolutely no idea how long you've been driving with one headlight.
...to be super psyched about letting a stranger shove needles into your face next week.
...to love the postcard your dear friend Sarah sent you with a picture of a sad looking puppy and a caption that reads, "Mommy blew your college fund on coke."
...to become irritated every time you remember your town does not have a single doughnut shop.
...if you unwittingly announce your dad's father's day present to your mom while on speaker phone. In front of your dad.
...to put on pajamas the second you walk in the door.
...to squeeze your eyes tight, concentrate very hard and pray to God your quesadilla will freaking cook itself.
Usually, I make a lot of excuses for my behavior on Tuesdays and I got the idea from this lady. Go forth, click and be entertained.
Hey, it's okay...
...to never seem to be able to make that fancy, S-shaped poop Dr. Oz and Oprah are always talking about.
...if you have absolutely no idea how long you've been driving with one headlight.
...to be super psyched about letting a stranger shove needles into your face next week.
...to love the postcard your dear friend Sarah sent you with a picture of a sad looking puppy and a caption that reads, "Mommy blew your college fund on coke."
...to become irritated every time you remember your town does not have a single doughnut shop.
...if you unwittingly announce your dad's father's day present to your mom while on speaker phone. In front of your dad.
...to put on pajamas the second you walk in the door.
...to squeeze your eyes tight, concentrate very hard and pray to God your quesadilla will freaking cook itself.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Hey, It's Okay Tuesdays
Tuesdays are pretty damn magical around here. It's when we get together, bang a drum, eat s'mores and tell each other that all the weird, nonsensical things we do are completely appropriate. The Whispering Writer is the originator and quite super. I'd recommend her to a friend.
*I would like to dedicate this post to two absolutely fantastic human beings who bought me pizza, reminded me how to throw a frisbee and taught me how to eat vegetables like a big girl.
Sally and Jon, you two are the cat's pajamas in my book.
Hey, it's okay...
...to hope the awesome dream you had about George Eads (Nick Stokes) from CSI totally comes true.
...to be sad that you couldn't call your super awesome missionary friend in Finland when you saw a girl totally and unintentionally bite it on a Slip 'n Slide.
...if you still pray your tiny college town will open up a Dunkin' Donuts before you graduate.
...if your roommates accidentally killed your basil plant while you were away. Bless 'em, they tried so hard.
...to not like the way the new State Farm Insurance spokesman says "la familia."
...if you just really like your own toilet.
...if your big plans for the evening are to make your organic mac and cheese and enjoy the latest episode of Glee with a glass of wine and a homemade pop-tart.
...if your professor lost your 15-page term paper. Wait- no, it isn't!
*I would like to dedicate this post to two absolutely fantastic human beings who bought me pizza, reminded me how to throw a frisbee and taught me how to eat vegetables like a big girl.
Sally and Jon, you two are the cat's pajamas in my book.
Hey, it's okay...
...to hope the awesome dream you had about George Eads (Nick Stokes) from CSI totally comes true.
...to be sad that you couldn't call your super awesome missionary friend in Finland when you saw a girl totally and unintentionally bite it on a Slip 'n Slide.
...if you still pray your tiny college town will open up a Dunkin' Donuts before you graduate.
...if your roommates accidentally killed your basil plant while you were away. Bless 'em, they tried so hard.
...to not like the way the new State Farm Insurance spokesman says "la familia."
...if you just really like your own toilet.
...if your big plans for the evening are to make your organic mac and cheese and enjoy the latest episode of Glee with a glass of wine and a homemade pop-tart.
...if your professor lost your 15-page term paper. Wait- no, it isn't!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Hey, It's Okay Tuesdays
Do you like to rationalize your decisions?
Me too!
So does The Whispering Writer.
This is how I do it (and you may sing that to yourself in the style of Montell Jordan's 1995 R&B hit, should you feel so inclined):
Hey, it's okay...
...to feel superior because you do your crossword puzzles in pen.
...if you wish you could send Tina Fey a birthday present without frightening her.
...to loathe the talking mouth in Dairy Queen commercials.
...if Sierra Nevada beer makes you want to throw up and then lick a ferret just to get the taste out.
...to yell, "Flaming piss!" when a Panera employee tells you they have taken tomato soup out of the rotation and that they're out of the ever magical Vermont white cheddar macaroni and cheese.
...if a baby bird scared the shit out of you simply by perching on the steps to your back porch.
...to choose your future life partner based on his or her ability to make truly bitchin' french toast.
...if you skipped a handful of potentially vital lyrics while singing a solo at church.
...to not understand why anyone finds Russel Brand to be interesting, entertaining or even slightly good looking.
...if the only reason you will even consider getting up early is purely for the doughnuts.
Me too!
So does The Whispering Writer.
This is how I do it (and you may sing that to yourself in the style of Montell Jordan's 1995 R&B hit, should you feel so inclined):
Hey, it's okay...
...to feel superior because you do your crossword puzzles in pen.
...if you wish you could send Tina Fey a birthday present without frightening her.
...to loathe the talking mouth in Dairy Queen commercials.
...if Sierra Nevada beer makes you want to throw up and then lick a ferret just to get the taste out.
...to yell, "Flaming piss!" when a Panera employee tells you they have taken tomato soup out of the rotation and that they're out of the ever magical Vermont white cheddar macaroni and cheese.
...if a baby bird scared the shit out of you simply by perching on the steps to your back porch.
...to choose your future life partner based on his or her ability to make truly bitchin' french toast.
...if you skipped a handful of potentially vital lyrics while singing a solo at church.
...to not understand why anyone finds Russel Brand to be interesting, entertaining or even slightly good looking.
...if the only reason you will even consider getting up early is purely for the doughnuts.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Hey, It's Okay Tuesdays
'Tis Tuesday once again, and in the fashion of the Whispering Writer from Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock at a Time, I'm telling you why everything is going to be alright.
Hey, it's okay...
...to love your cat but wish you could glue her fur on so she stops shedding all over you.
...that you now consider the fact that you have to leave the glove compartment open in your car whenever you drive over 65 mph so it doesn't rattle as much just one more part of your car's "character."
...to still believe in the existence of Astronaut Mike Dexter.
...if you look forward to your return to the South just so you can hit up the Biscuitville on the way down.
...that you're willing to do without A/C in your car in the middle of Summer if it means you can have a CD player instead of a tape deck.
...if you feel Harry Connick, Jr. is, in fact, the bees knees.
...to get completely sh*t-faced off of hummus.
Hey, it's okay...
...to love your cat but wish you could glue her fur on so she stops shedding all over you.
...that you now consider the fact that you have to leave the glove compartment open in your car whenever you drive over 65 mph so it doesn't rattle as much just one more part of your car's "character."
...to still believe in the existence of Astronaut Mike Dexter.
...if you look forward to your return to the South just so you can hit up the Biscuitville on the way down.
...that you're willing to do without A/C in your car in the middle of Summer if it means you can have a CD player instead of a tape deck.
...if you feel Harry Connick, Jr. is, in fact, the bees knees.
...to get completely sh*t-faced off of hummus.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Hey, It's Okay Tuesdays
I do this because the Whispering Writer at Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock at a Time said I could.
And hot damn can that lady spin a yarn.
Hey, it's okay...
...to still have absolutely no idea how or why Sting became so popular (musically speaking).
...to honestly not remember the last time you brushed your teeth.
...if you feel the sudden urge to go to the grocery store at 9pm because you NEED a strawberry-cream cheese flavored Toaster Streudel.
...to want to slap a guy in the mouth because he told you that "you look like a chipmunk when you clap"... even if it is a little true.
...if the only reason you want to visit Thailand is for the food.
...to turn your term paper in 2 days late and 3 pages short.
...to fear acupuncturists because you think they'll yell at you for having a tattoo.
...if you spent over $100 at Target. Hell, it's okay to spend over $1,000 at Target.
...if the only times you've had to put air in your tires, you've needed a buddy for moral support. And to basically do it for you.
And hot damn can that lady spin a yarn.
Hey, it's okay...
...to still have absolutely no idea how or why Sting became so popular (musically speaking).
...to honestly not remember the last time you brushed your teeth.
...if you feel the sudden urge to go to the grocery store at 9pm because you NEED a strawberry-cream cheese flavored Toaster Streudel.
...to want to slap a guy in the mouth because he told you that "you look like a chipmunk when you clap"... even if it is a little true.
...if the only reason you want to visit Thailand is for the food.
...to turn your term paper in 2 days late and 3 pages short.
...to fear acupuncturists because you think they'll yell at you for having a tattoo.
...if you spent over $100 at Target. Hell, it's okay to spend over $1,000 at Target.
...if the only times you've had to put air in your tires, you've needed a buddy for moral support. And to basically do it for you.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Hey, It's Okay Tuesdays
Tuesdays are all about validation here. I jumped on Amber's bandwagon at Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock at a Time and recommend you do the same.
Hey, It's okay...
...if you went to your class on Monday, looked your professor square in the eye and said, "I'll give you my paper tomorrow" even though it was due Monday.
...to be relieved classes are over because you woke up and your hair was doing "that thing" again.
...to shush your friend every time Britney or Miley comes on your Pandora station.
...if you had to suppress an urge to joyfully tackle a guy in the library because he was wearing an Indiana University t-shirt.
...to tell people you do yoga, even if you haven't technically done it in about 4 months.
...if you want to take a nap, even though you got 11 hours of sleep last night and you still have to finish a paper that was due yesterday.
...to wish you had super cute, less practical pajamas but to still prefer your oversized flannel pants and t-shirts from middle school.
...to be completely annoyed that 6-piece chicken nugget meal at McDonald's is, by default, a kid's meal.
...if you are even more annoyed that your bag was void of condiments even though you specifically requested "a ton of ketchup."
...to wonder, with absolutely not shame, if you could get away with turning your paper in on Wednesday, considering you got away with pushing it back once already.
Hey, It's okay...
...if you went to your class on Monday, looked your professor square in the eye and said, "I'll give you my paper tomorrow" even though it was due Monday.
...to be relieved classes are over because you woke up and your hair was doing "that thing" again.
...to shush your friend every time Britney or Miley comes on your Pandora station.
...if you had to suppress an urge to joyfully tackle a guy in the library because he was wearing an Indiana University t-shirt.
...to tell people you do yoga, even if you haven't technically done it in about 4 months.
...if you want to take a nap, even though you got 11 hours of sleep last night and you still have to finish a paper that was due yesterday.
...to wish you had super cute, less practical pajamas but to still prefer your oversized flannel pants and t-shirts from middle school.
...to be completely annoyed that 6-piece chicken nugget meal at McDonald's is, by default, a kid's meal.
...if you are even more annoyed that your bag was void of condiments even though you specifically requested "a ton of ketchup."
...to wonder, with absolutely not shame, if you could get away with turning your paper in on Wednesday, considering you got away with pushing it back once already.
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