I hope you all enjoyed a prosperous and plentiful Druid Winter Solstice Light Festival. My gift to you all is the gift of blog, for it has been brought to my attention that I've been sucking something fierce at that. Now, in the holiday tradition of Amber at Airing My Dirty Laundry..., I give you validation.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you once bought unfrosted Pop-Tarts in an attempt to be "healthy."
...if, when you were 16 years old, you slept on the couch because you were convinced a tiny woodland creature was living in your headboard.
...to love Muppets.
...to hate puppets.
...if the highlights of your upcoming semester include a Spring Break trip to Seattle to see your brother, popping over to San Diego for a conference (and to frolic with SurferWife) and your dearest redheaded, Mormon tater tot, Lisa, returning to the U.S. from her mission in Finland.
...if you are damn near positive the scanner just growled at you.
...if you yelled a few choice phrases (such as "Butterfly nuggets!" and "Mrs. Clause's holiday wafers!") after dropping and shattering one of your parents' Christmas plates.
...if your dad walked past you and commented, "Your blog is old," to which you respectfully replied, "You are."
...if an adequate supply of doughnuts and cupcakes has become your most vital criteria for selecting a future city of semi-permanent residence.
...to not appreciate it when someone starts a sentence with, "I'm not complaining, but..." Yes, you are. Either own it or shut your hole.
...if Hoda Kotb taught you that you like Flo Rida.
...if you only got 4 hours of sleep last night because you couldn't stop wondering what the difference really is between grape, cherry and plum tomatoes.
...if the only reason you can pick Reggie Bush out of a lineup is thanks to Kim Kardashian.
...if you judged the hell out of the woman at the Chinese restaurant last night whom you overheard ask the waitress, "Do you have any ramen?"
...to love Harry Connick, Jr. so much, you wish you could buy him a fish sandwich.
...to have similar feelings for DVR.
Showing posts with label Muppet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Muppet. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Have I mentioned I don't share well?
I'm a grad student.
The majority of my friends in the immediate area are grad students as well.
And whenever two or more grad students gather together, there had damn well better be pizza.
The last few times this has happened, however, I have noticed an upsetting pattern among my friends.
Let me give you a scenario.
Last Thursday, in celebration of the upcoming Autumnal Equinox (there might've been a football game going on, too), my friend Consuela had people over to her house for festivities and, of course, pizza. It fell to me, as her second in command, to organize the food.
The basic idea was that most people weren't picky and would eat some variation of pepperoni, sausage or cheese. Now, this is perfect because I am picky. One of my favorite types of pizza is pineapple. This tends to be a polarizing topping for most people, which is fine. If you hate it, more for me.
I established that there were at least three other people down for pineapple, so I figured we could order two just to be safe.
The pizza came, the pizza went and eventually the evening died down and most people had left. As I was helping clean up, it was my intention to take the pineapple leftovers home with me as our hosts wanted nothing to do with it.
Imagine my surprise and disgust when I started scouring the pizza boxes and learned of an overwhelming surplus of sausage, cheese and pepperoni, but ALL of my beloved pineapple pizza had been hoovered.
This is not the first time this has happened. On another occasion, we had people specially request a veggie pizza. Those same veggie eaters (not vegetarians, mind you) had their greasy paws all over my Hawaiian, leaving substantial leftovers of their foul, mushroom and pepper infested concoction that I WILL NOT EAT.
Some of you might be saying, "What does it matter? You grab some pepperoni, you grab some cheese and yeah, maybe a slice of pineapple. Everyone gets what they need. It's not a big deal."
Wrong, you pizza communists.
Specialty pizzas are special for a reason. They are delicious and I like to eat delicious things, therefore they are special, damn it!
To me, it's about the same if I'm sitting in a restaurant with my food in front of me, and someone at the table reaches over my plate to snag a french fry while absently asking, "You gonna eat that?"
Yes, I'm going to eat that.
I am always going to eat that.
So, the next time you're about to go rogue on someone else's pizza, picture my scary Muppet face staring up at you (I'm short), judging you.
Now, put down the pizza.
The majority of my friends in the immediate area are grad students as well.
And whenever two or more grad students gather together, there had damn well better be pizza.
The last few times this has happened, however, I have noticed an upsetting pattern among my friends.
Let me give you a scenario.
Last Thursday, in celebration of the upcoming Autumnal Equinox (there might've been a football game going on, too), my friend Consuela had people over to her house for festivities and, of course, pizza. It fell to me, as her second in command, to organize the food.
The basic idea was that most people weren't picky and would eat some variation of pepperoni, sausage or cheese. Now, this is perfect because I am picky. One of my favorite types of pizza is pineapple. This tends to be a polarizing topping for most people, which is fine. If you hate it, more for me.
I established that there were at least three other people down for pineapple, so I figured we could order two just to be safe.
The pizza came, the pizza went and eventually the evening died down and most people had left. As I was helping clean up, it was my intention to take the pineapple leftovers home with me as our hosts wanted nothing to do with it.
Imagine my surprise and disgust when I started scouring the pizza boxes and learned of an overwhelming surplus of sausage, cheese and pepperoni, but ALL of my beloved pineapple pizza had been hoovered.
This is not the first time this has happened. On another occasion, we had people specially request a veggie pizza. Those same veggie eaters (not vegetarians, mind you) had their greasy paws all over my Hawaiian, leaving substantial leftovers of their foul, mushroom and pepper infested concoction that I WILL NOT EAT.
Some of you might be saying, "What does it matter? You grab some pepperoni, you grab some cheese and yeah, maybe a slice of pineapple. Everyone gets what they need. It's not a big deal."
Wrong, you pizza communists.
Specialty pizzas are special for a reason. They are delicious and I like to eat delicious things, therefore they are special, damn it!
To me, it's about the same if I'm sitting in a restaurant with my food in front of me, and someone at the table reaches over my plate to snag a french fry while absently asking, "You gonna eat that?"
Yes, I'm going to eat that.
I am always going to eat that.
So, the next time you're about to go rogue on someone else's pizza, picture my scary Muppet face staring up at you (I'm short), judging you.
Now, put down the pizza.
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