I have been without the internet for more than a week.
And now, I'm back in Indiana and have been rewarded, by the gods of corn and makeshift suspenders, with the gift of the world wide interweb.
In an effort to Haley Joel Osment it forward, I've decided to extend "Hey, it's okay" Tuesdays to Wednesday. Also, I'm tired and I have to pee too badly to write something wordy and loaded with effort.
Hey, it's okay...
...if you watched the AMAs...and then wished you could unwatch it.
...if you never liked Fantasia. The movie, not Barrino.
...if you had to call your dad in order to successfully remove a tiny rodent from the kitchen sink. Twice.
...if mountains make you claustrophobic and you're tired of people telling you how pretty they are.
...to encourage your cat's OCD and auditory hallucinations for funsies.
...if you want to punch someone in the face when they say, "Look at the bright side!" or "It could be worse!" Of course it could be worse. I don't care. If I cared, I wouldn't be complaining in the first place. Blow your sunshine up someone else's skirt.
...to insult the mother of every person between North Carolina and Indiana who doesn't understand that the left lane is still, as it turns out, only for passing.
...to, quite consistently, choke on your own spit.
...if, you too, underestimated the refreshing power of a Fresca.
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20 comments:
just when i think i can't love you even more, you go and throw fresca in the mix! dude, that's a staple in our family!! i think we're secretly related....
My whole family is made up of Fresca fans! Looks like I'm not alone.
The choking on spit thing? you should probably see a doc about that.
I could care less about the mountains, too. I'm the person who would never pay a premium for a room with a view. I'm not gonna sit in a hotel room, gazing out; I go places to see those places!
Man, I choke on my own spit ALL THE TIME. And it seriously annoys the hell out of my husband who, for 30 minutes following the spit attack, has to hear me clearing my throat in an effort to get the stray drop of spit out of the place it shouldn't be. What's up with that? I'm seriously starting to think there's something wrong with my throat hole.
Oh, I love to do stuff to cats for my enjoyment and laughter. And that's NOT supposed to sound as evil as it does.
Oh. I just got the Haley Joel Osment it forward thing. I'm slow.
It's okay, though.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, friend!
I choke on my own spit, too. It's very annoying to me and scares my kids.
Have a great Thanksgiving!
"Blow your sunshine up someone else's skirt". My new favourite phrase.
That's why I didn't bother watching the AMAs.
Hi I'm a new follower! Love your blog......you crack me up!
Amy's Life @
www.amyclairejacob.blogspot.com
I'm very glad that it's ok not to like Fantasia. In my case it's the movie and the singer. Am I still covered?
When my cat comes up and yawns in my face, I quickly stick my finger in her mouth and it interrupts her yawn. Then she closes her mouth and looks at me with a glare that says, "You think that's funny don't you? What are you, 12?" And then I choke on my spit laughing. - G
I never liked Fantasia Barrino...is that ok?
I don't remember a lot about Fantasia. And that's a blanket statement for anything or anyone with that name.
I'm glad you have internet back!
I watched the AMAs and then wondered why I wasted my time. I could have done something better- like slept.
These are all good to me. Especially the Fantasia one. Never made it more than 10 minutes into that one.
Whoa nelly!! This was a good one!!
"In an effort to Haley Joel Osment it forward..." It took me a sec to get this, but when it clicked, a bit of my sandwich was catapulted across the room in a fit of hilarity. Nice!!
Also? I'm always leary of those "glass full" people trying to handout sunshine to everyone. Annoying and unasked for, thankyouverymuch!
I, too, choke on my own spit! WTH?!
Ummmm. My fridge is stock full of Fresca.
And then I see Alicia is also a fresca lover.
Please drink Fresca from your Elephantia cup.
There is a rodent in my office and I had to call my boss to come over and take care of it.
I am a huge baby when it comes to rodents. Yuck.
I know it could be worse!
God, don't you just want to kill people who try to make you feel better? Assholes.
Were we driving the same highways? I noticed the exact same thing. When did the rules of driving change?
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