There's a disturbing trend among some younger married couples, and as a single, 25 year old woman, I see it as my hard and fast duty (take a moment to enjoy that) to speak out against it.
It would appear that many married couples have become too cool for wedding rings.
Perhaps you're thinking, "Big deal, I don't wear a ring. My partner and I don't need some archaic symbol to prove we're fully committed to one another. We exchange energy vibrations every morning before the sun rises and he carries my aura with him in his emotional brood pouch. Calm down, Mandy Mainstream, and pass the patchouli."
That's all well and good, but it really messes it up for any of the single folks who are looking at someone's left hand to see if we even need to waste our time.
There are few things more embarrassing and annoying, not to mention time consuming, than putting fifteen minutes of solid effort into a good-looking guy whose left hand is completely naked and then hearing the words "my wife" casually pop out of his mouth.
First of all, butt monkey, could you not have dropped that phrase a little sooner? I've been sucking it in for a quarter of an hour and I'm starting to get light-headed.
And second, if you wore the ring in the first place, I would have walked right past you to the food table and spent a lot more worthwhile energy with the prosciutto tray.
In conclusion, you and your wife may be above the whole wedding ring concept, but as we have established, this is not about you.
So stop being so selfish!
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29 comments:
I half agree with you. In a world where people who didn't even know each other got married, everyone without a wedding ring was therefore fair game. But in the modern world where people waste YEARS AND YEARS in a relationship before getting married (or sometimes not getting married, in my case) a wedding ring is about as useless for determining availability as... something else that's really useless. I just got off work. Leammme alone.
Spot on girl! Navigating the muddy waters of relationships is difficult enough without camouflaged hotties posting as attainable. That is time that could be better spent having a burrito.
I don't know if I have an opinion on this either way, but the phrase "i've been sucking it in for a quarter of an hour" is REALLY funny.
I've managed to loose 2 rings, despite NEVER taking them off.
I confuse sexy ladies on a daily basis.
As a woman who learned the hard way to look at a man's left hand before getting interested, this is just uncool. Guess what? People are "bucking the system" to just be different, and it's getting old. We're adults. We don't need to be "different" just to be different. We should be old enough to be past that age. Especially if you're married. And yes, you can put this comment under "bitter, party of one" cause this chick is tired of the game.
We exchange energy vibrations every morning before the sun rises and he carries my aura with him in his emotional brood pouch.
my new favorite sentence. almost makes me want to get my husband to quit wearing his ring so i can tell people that's why we sport naked fingers in public.
My husband cannot wear a ring at work - but I prefer him to wear it out and he usually remembers. ;)
I think married people should have a ring - part of the fun is finding the "right" ring to go with the right person.
Regardless, this post was FUNNY!
My husband cannot wear a ring at work - but I prefer him to wear it out and he usually remembers. ;)
I think married people should have a ring - part of the fun is finding the "right" ring to go with the right person.
Regardless, this post was FUNNY!
Completely agree! A friend of mine took a girl out to dinner TWICE (they were in the same grad program) before she decided to mention she was engaged. He had no idea because she and her fiancé "didn't believe in" rings. She claimed she thought he was just being friendly.
I call bullshit and using some poor guy to get a couple of free meals.
I completely agree! You can shackle your entire financial future to someone but you don't want to tell the world encase you have the opportunity to get some strange?
I think Ed meant to say that he IS a confused sexy lady.
May want to ask him to clarify.
Look, think of the 15 minute suck in as an ab workout. Now, you don't need to worry about the gym.
Have I told you lately that I love you? Because I do. And I missed you too so I was giddy with delight to see this post.
I am very afraid that Leland and I are one of "those" couples. You see, he is not allowed to wear his ring at work, and he works out all the time so he doesn't wear it because it gets in the way when he lifts weights, and he has a very hard time playing guitar with a ring on...so he never wears it. I wear his ring around my neck, but nobody knows he is married.
Trust me, I would love it if he wore his ring because then maybe I wouldn't have to be a bitch to so many girls I see hitting on him.
Last weekend we were actually at a bar and he wasn't wearing his ring (as usual) and I still don't have mine back from the jewelers and I a girl literally pushed me out of her way so she could talk to Leland. I was standing right in front of him, talking to him and she pushed me out of the way. Leland immediately told her that she needed to apologize to me for being so rude and she said "why should I apologize to some skanky girl who is flirting with you? It's not like she is your wife." And I didn't look like a skank, I was nearly fully covered. In fact, I probably looked like a nun.
And then he told her that I am his wife and she didn't believe him because neither of us had rings. She actually said to him "only a coward would make up a pretend wife in order to blow off a woman. You really need to grow some balls."
It was definitely an interesting night.
Was that the longest comment you ever got? I really hope so.
It's the LEAST we could do for the singles out there, I agree.
OMG - I'm dying at Yankee Girl's story. I would've kicked that ho's ass!
ok. um. i totally agree with you. and i should also say that i plan to kill my hubs if i ever catch him out without his ring.
maybe he was looking for someone on the side...
I agree that this whole concept is completely ridiculous. If you are married, wear a ring. End of story.
Agree.
One time, Willis had started driving to work, and the dude actually turned his car around and came back because HE FORGOT HIS RING.
Score!
When I get fat-pregnant, sometimes, I have to take my ring off for fear that my fingers will swallow it. But, most people don't really want to hit that when, you know, you look like that.
This also made me think of an episode of Scrubs where Turk and Carla are discussing whether or not Carla will take Turk's name.
"Okay baby, I guess we'll be one of those New Age couples that don't love each other!"
Another reason you are one of my all time favorites!
You are SO right, girl. Irritating no ring wearing people.
I don't wear my wedding ring most of the time but the men folk don't seem to be throwing themselves at me.
However, The TO wears his ring every day. That didn't stop one of the workers at 5 Guys Burgers from hitting on him right in front of me. She even complimented him on his wedding band!
Totally. He's loving the attention and the flirting!
oh my gosh. this may be just about the most brilliant post to ever enter the blogosphere. thank you for penning it. and making my day.
OH MY GOSH SO TRUE. I started writing a comment that turned out to be really long but I might have to just save it for a blog post and expound on this topic.
But on a different note, I'm proud of you for at least putting yourself out there enough to find out this d-bag needed to be wearing a wedding ring.
Who started that trend? Cheaters? I say it only works for those who are trying to hide their wedded natures.
This post cracked me up. I'll be honest I stare at my ring as much as I stare at my fiance. I forgot it once when I went up to work and I felt anxious the rest of the day that this very situation would happen.
haha keep writing x
Autumn
I heartily agree!
I couldn't decide which line to quote, so here are my two faves:
I've been sucking it in for a quarter of an hour and I'm starting to get light-headed.
And second, if you wore the ring in the first place, I would have walked right past you to the food table and spent a lot more worthwhile energy with the prosciutto tray.
Back-to-back goodness!
I'm married to the guy that loses everything. Including two wedding rings. He's currently ringless. I figure it's a good ego boost for him if he gets hit on.
He managed to keep his first ring for almost 5 years. The second one was gone within a few months. I would gladly accept a crisp $100 bill to go buy him a new one.
laughing my ass off...
seriously, though, you know those married guys LOVE the attention... jerks.
Those guys? Are cheating on their wives. Don't tell them I know that though ok?
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