Connect the dots, la la la la!

What do all of these people have in common?

Amelia Earhart

Cole Porter

Aretha Franklin

Charlie Parker

Francis Ford Coppola

Gilda Radner

John Legend

Abraham Lincoln

Toni Morrison


Walt Disney

Miles Davis

Tom Selleck

Other than just being bad-ass and famous, these people share a common bond.

They're all...






...from the Midwest!

Now, you may say, "BFD, Sara. What's your point?"

My point, profane abbreviations user, is that the Midwest is underrated.

We also have philanthropists, artists and a butt-load of Nobel Peace Prize winners. I didn't mention them because I wasn't trying to show you that we're fancy and smart.

I'm trying to show you that we make cool people here, too.

Oh, but we do apologize for this one, though:

Dan Quayle

Seriously. We're sorry.

You don't need to know that.

I was prepared to write a blog ranting about my hatred of most bumper stickers, but I couldn't work up a good enough rant about it. Yeah, a lot of them are stupid. There's not much you can do, though.

I've been out of commission for the last few days, and when you're sick, you can't get worked up about much. All I know is that being sick blows rabbit chunks, monkey bread is my new favorite comfort food and spilling hot tea in your lap sucks just as much as you might think.

Oh, and Jennifer Hudson's stylist should be shot.

I was watching Ellen yesterday and Jennifer Hudson was a guest on the show. Fine. I have very little, if anything, against her. When she came on the show, however, I read her grocery list through her back pocket. Somebody, I don't know who, decided to put Jennifer Hudson in skinny jeans. Inappropriate.

I find the whole skinny jean fad to be vastly overrated (and especially obnoxious on guys), and I'll admit that a lot of that is due to the fact that I'm not a girl who could ever wear them. I have several friends that look quite cute in them and I'm a little jealous of that. However, I accepted long ago that the Lord done blessed me and blessed me good in certain areas. Therefore, I do not attempt to squeeze those blessings into skinny jeans.

And Jen, being the curvaceous lady she is, should never have even had the option to put skinny jeans on in the morning. She is gorgeous and deserves to wear regular clothes. Bad stylist! Very, very bad!

On a completely different note, there is a new addition to the cast of Scrubs. Now, I know of few people that even watch this show anymore other than a few scattered friends and my immediate family, but I am quite excited about this.

For those of you that remember "The Famous Jett Jackson" from the Disney Channel about 10+ years ago, you might recall the star of the show, Lee Thompson Young. He was cute then, but Lee has been drinking his milk and doing his 10 sit-ups every other week, because now...



Isn't he DREAMY?!?!?!?! Sorry, the 13 year old inside me had to get that out.

I realize this post is somewhat spastic and abrupt, but that's sort of how my week went. Plus, I've had about 37 chocolate covered coffee beans in the last 15 minutes and I think it's starting to affect my vision.

Is it small? Cheap? Useless? I must have it.

I, my friends, am a consumer.

I'm almost positive that when ad companies are getting ready to push a new campaign, right before they air their new commercial, everybody stops to consider, "Would Sara be tricked into buying this?" Unless it's an ad for Subway (no, I will not "eat fresh") or Budweiser (king of beers, my ass), I'm highly susceptible.

While I don't think this is necessarily something of which to be proud, I also like to think I know myself pretty well and heaven help me, I like to buy stuff. It is what it is.

I was reminded of this fact when I was in a check-out lane only a few hours ago. The lady in front of me was taking entirely too long. Apparently her credit card wasn't working and she felt the need to have it swiped several times, as well as explain to the cashier that this NEVER happens to her and she had no idea what was wrong and he should try it again because it would probably work the 7th time, right?

Being the patient person I am, I rolled my eyes and turned my attention to the display of candy, chocolate bars, gift cards, lint rollers and anything else Timmy toddler would reach for should his mother turn her head for 2 seconds. It was nothing I hadn't seen before, but I perused the vast selection nonetheless.

My gaze faltered, however, when I zeroed in on the Orbit gum shelf. I generally have a pack in my purse (as I did at this particular moment), but that did not stop me from noticing a NEW! LIMITED EDITION! flavor expertly named Positively Pomegranate. I knew it had to be mine. I immediately began my mental checklist:

Do I need it? - No.
Is it vital to my existence? - No.
Am I currently out of gum? - No.
Should I be spending $1 on gum I don't need? - No.
Do I want it? - YES!
Was there really a point to performing this checklist as you knew you would probably be buying it either way? - No. Why haven't you figured that out yet?

Needless to say, the gum made its way into my purse and I am a happier person. What can I say? I'm weak. (It's delicious, by the way, but the flavor doesn't last very long.)

I do this more than I care to admit. Rarely does it happen with large, painfully expensive items, but that still doesn't much excuse the behavior.

Like anyone, I have key words that really grab and hold my attention. I'm more likely to buy coffee that is fair-trade, I'm more apt to purchase makeup that is made with natural ingredients and packaged in recyclable materials and I'm more prone to buying food when it is labeled as "tasty".

The other aspect is who is telling me to buy something. I actually prefer when Jane/John Doe is pitching an idea to me, rather than Marie Osmond (plus, if I'm going to buy anything from an Osmond, it had damn well better be Donny). When it comes to celebrity preference, however, I have my lists of who is allowed to pander to me and who is not.

Good celebrity endorsers:
Marlo Thomas
Magic Johnson
Kate Winslet
Phylicia Rashad
Peyton or Eli Manning
Blythe Danner

Bad celebrity endorsers:
Tom Cruise
Raquel Welch
Michael Moore
Rush Limbaugh
Kobe Bryant
Sean Penn
Mariska Hargitay

Hopefully, when I go home tonight and watch my DVRed episode of Gilmore Girls, I won't catch Bono (the king of Ireland!) talking up the benefits of polenta. But if it's Gloria Estefan...