The majority of my friends in the immediate area are grad students as well.
And whenever two or more grad students gather together, there had damn well better be pizza.
The last few times this has happened, however, I have noticed an upsetting pattern among my friends.
Let me give you a scenario.
Last Thursday, in celebration of the upcoming Autumnal Equinox (there might've been a football game going on, too), my friend Consuela had people over to her house for festivities and, of course, pizza. It fell to me, as her second in command, to organize the food.
The basic idea was that most people weren't picky and would eat some variation of pepperoni, sausage or cheese. Now, this is perfect because I am picky. One of my favorite types of pizza is pineapple. This tends to be a polarizing topping for most people, which is fine. If you hate it, more for me.
I established that there were at least three other people down for pineapple, so I figured we could order two just to be safe.
The pizza came, the pizza went and eventually the evening died down and most people had left. As I was helping clean up, it was my intention to take the pineapple leftovers home with me as our hosts wanted nothing to do with it.
Imagine my surprise and disgust when I started scouring the pizza boxes and learned of an overwhelming surplus of sausage, cheese and pepperoni, but ALL of my beloved pineapple pizza had been hoovered.
This is not the first time this has happened. On another occasion, we had people specially request a veggie pizza. Those same veggie eaters (not vegetarians, mind you) had their greasy paws all over my Hawaiian, leaving substantial leftovers of their foul, mushroom and pepper infested concoction that I WILL NOT EAT.
Some of you might be saying, "What does it matter? You grab some pepperoni, you grab some cheese and yeah, maybe a slice of pineapple. Everyone gets what they need. It's not a big deal."
Wrong, you pizza communists.
Specialty pizzas are special for a reason. They are delicious and I like to eat delicious things, therefore they are special, damn it!
To me, it's about the same if I'm sitting in a restaurant with my food in front of me, and someone at the table reaches over my plate to snag a french fry while absently asking, "You gonna eat that?"
Yes, I'm going to eat that.
I am always going to eat that.
So, the next time you're about to go rogue on someone else's pizza, picture my scary Muppet face staring up at you (I'm short), judging you.
Now, put down the pizza.
25 comments:
ughh I HATE pineapple on pizza.
But I do love me some mushroom and sausage and pepperoni.
We should have a pizza party sometime- leftover for each!
Here's another pizza tip: never let the vegetarian of the group order the pizza - they come up with the most effed up combinations on the planet and NOTHING that tastes good. Ugh.
I'm with you. Get your hands off my pineapple pizza, you fiends! It's the king of pizza.
Girl, you would be safe with me. I wouldn't touch a pineapple pizza with someone else's ten foot pole. Now pepperoni, that's another story. House all the pepperoni and someone's getting stabbed with a fork.
Man, I didn't even realize that I was a pizza communist. But I guess it kinda fits. Huh.
I tried to like pineapple on pizza. I really did. But what it comes down to is that I neither enjoy a pineapple and cheese combination or pineapple that is hot. Or really pineapple in the first place. Your pizza would be safe with me.
Oh GOD. Please tell me the moment we meet your eyes will pop out and your hair will turn orange. Please.
Also, I will never eat your pineapple pizza. It's all yours, love. I'm assuming you wont touch my pepperoni, mushroom and jalapeno pizza? Thank you.
And lastly, in conclusion, I saw the title of this post and assumed it was going to be about how you don't want to share my attentions with famous celebrities anymore.
I was sadly mistaken.
I know what you mean.
I HATE it when people eat all of my veggie pizza (I am not a vegetarian, I just only eat meat for three meals out of a week) even though I KNOW that everyone I am with will eat tons of sausage without any issues.
Bottom line, keep your paws off my pizza. Or there will be hell to pay.
first, i'm a fan of pineapple on pizza. just so you know i'm not a hater.
second, this sounds more like you tried to scheme and it blew up in your face. am i wrong? :)
1: I love pineapple but I understand this polarizing issue you speak of.
2: People and their piggyness!!
I'd be miffed too. I wouldn't eat your pineapple pizza, don't worry. I have to really be in the mood for that. Most of the time I go for all the meats.
You and I need to go for pizza because pineapple is the bomb diggety!
mmm - loooove pineapple! My husband pretends he's all "meat only" but he's always the first one to want to try my "girlie za". WTF?
Mmmm pineapple pizza. I am exactly the same way. Do not pretend you "just discovered" you love it. I am not falling for it. If you did not request it, get your hands off my food.
Oooh, I think it's open thread time for Worst Grad Student Party Behavior.
I can think of a few people I'd like to call out (okay, anonymously... but still).
ugh. stupid manfriend does this to me! i order what i like, he orders what he likes. it is fine on night one. however, on day two when i go to get my leftovers he has eaten all my delicious food, and left behind his nasty grossness. bastard. he is sleeping on the couch tonight.
BAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
I like pineapple on my pizza too. Never understood it because I won't eat pineapple typically unless it's on a pie...then it morphs into gooey deliciousness!
I got your back on this Sara...it's just plain wrong!
Aw, beaker! I am SO with you sister. I prefer my pizza with as much meat and as little vegetables as possible. My dad and I, when splitting, inevitably order half veggie, half meat lovers. And he ALWAYS asks for a piece of mine. I won't eat veggie pizza if it somehow made me lose 20 lbs, and even though I shouldn't eat all 6 pieces on my half, I'm going to.
It also comes down to details, which most of the human population seems to be unconcerned with. If I call and ask you for your order, you better speak up now or forever hold your piece.
I would totally eat your pineapple pizza. You would knwo this by the "OOOOOH! PINEAPPLE PIZZA!" screams from me. Because Hubz and the minions ONLY eat pepperoni so that is all I get ever.
I dream of spinach and feta pizzas. BBQ chicken pizzas. Olive pizzas. I never get to haz 'em.
How DARE they eat all the pineapple pizza!
PS I'm catching up on Project Runway and I too wish Tim Gunn were my fairy godfather.
I don't like to share food. Period. I may or may not hide goodies from my family to avoid this.
PS I like pineapple pizza, too. The family says they don't but they'll eat mine. Gah!
Yeah, that is unacceptable. You order the fungus, you eat the fungus. End of story.
Why are people ashamed to admit they like pineapple? Everyone knows it's the best - which is why they eat it. But, they don't want to admit it, for some reason, so that's why there's never enough. Boo!
Messing with one's pizza, or favorite flavor of ice cream, should never be accepted and an act of justifiable homicide should surprise no one in either case. Of course, that's just my opinion.
Hope you have a great weekend! Hope you'll come visit and follow me too :) Shauna from http://www.trying2staycalm.com/
Post a Comment