Sounds like a dirty word, doesn't it?
That's because it is.
I have been putting mine off with the expertise of a seasoned veteran of the American higher education system.
Now, if you're familiar with the process required to achieve government funded financial aid for learning purposes, you are aware of what it takes to fill out this blessed piece of paperwork.
If you are unfamiliar, I'd like to help you. Here are my steps for successfully completing your next FAFSA:
- Wait until the deadline has passed by at least a week.
- Start this process in the morning. This provides you with a greater chance of ruining your entire day.
- Don't even think about sitting down to the computer unless you have your tax returns, driver's license, 3 credit card statements, a fresh urine sample and a box of Munchkins within arm's reach.
- Start swearing profusely. You're going to do it eventually so you may as well do it right.
- Enter your name.
- SAVE!
- Wipe the sweat off your brow and press on.
- Enter 17 more pages of personal information you've only told your priest or your cat.
- SAVE!
- It helps to call your dad several times throughout the process to announce, "This is hard!"
- Finish up my submitting the form and praying to the gods of FAFSA that they'll still process the paperwork despite your tardiness.
- Congratulate yourself on a job well done!
Now, don't get comfortable, because assuming your FAFSA goes through without a hitch (and it won't), next you get to deal with a nameless, faceless corporation who will insist you sign over your first born and a bag of Fritos in exchange for money to attend school.
This can come in many forms, but if you're super lucky, you'll get to deal with one of the most hateful, degrading organizations in the history of evil: Sallie Mae.
The only tips I have for you regarding that bitch would be to call a Sallie Mae customer service rep, forget that this person has feelings and do your best to make them cry.
Good luck!
21 comments:
I spent a lot of hours last summer working for the financial aid office at IU. First I took calls and tried not to yell at people, who were often yelling at me.
Then I spent the last month or so processing loans.
I learned one important thing that probably applies to a lot of corporations, but is especially true in this case:
Sallie Mae is a pack of liars. They lie to you, they lie to the school you go to. They send money later than they say they will, and they keep lying after that.
I'm trying to think of a cheerful way to end this comment...Maybe...you're not as behind the ball as you think? A lot of people wait until late August to file a FAFSA and they still get their aid on time! How's that for cheerful?
wow. I vote that we overthrow the government.
Crap. Now I am on some sort of watch list.
I actually am overwhelmed with the depth of crap these "corporations" deal. :) Have a lovely day!
Since my parents still claim me as a dependent, I need all that information about them. Which takes forever to get from my dad! I hate the process but I sure do enjoy the $$.
I REMEMBER THAT SHIT!! sucks!!!
oh, me and sallie have gotten into it quite a few times. She can suck it.
don't get me started about this kind of stuff. I may decide to vent to the point of no return. i love your dad. I had a dad like that, and your photo comment reminds me of something he used to say all the time when we were in the car together. He's say "yep, we're on the wrong road, but we're makin great time" LOL
Oh God, the words "student loan" are evil. I hope it all works out for you. I don't really think it would be the end of the world if you got rejected. Paying back those things is a bitch.
My mom made me fill out both mt FAFSA and my sister's while we were in school since "I already knew how to do it.
Rage, let me tell you.
Luckily I don't have to worry about this for a few years for my kids (since I'm so done)... I couldn't handle it right now!
sorry to hear that, sara! good luck getting aid.
It's the WORST time of the year for me. No joke. I despise all of that crap.
*Rubbing Eyes*
A second blog posting this week? Whaaaaa?
You are prohibited by blogsbian law to give away our firstborn together.
Go make a baby real quick that you can hand over and spare our future lovechild.
Ack, well good luck.
I did this ONCE. I still have nightmares and it was like 15 years ago.
I can't STAND paperwork...hence I haven't done my taxes since '03. But sshhh...don't tell anyone.
Good luck to ya!!
Sallie Mae...how could an organization with a name so cute be so horrible?
I remember financial aid. My parents didn't qualify for it for me, but my friend's mom did who made more than both my parents combined. Someone told me it was because my parents had less debt. So they're wise with their money and are punished for it. Makes perfect sense!
Only you could make such a dreadful financial process so entertaining! I actually know each of these steps intimately because I did this in college. I never had to defer a payment, which I hear is the 5th level of Hell. But you know what's almost worse than Sallie Mae?? The Veterans' Administration. Those asshats don't like to part with their money. War or no war. So, I'll be thinking of you if you think of us as Neal tries to pry it from their cold, arthritic hands.
So glad those days are behind me!
One day, FAFSA will be a faint and distant memory, I promise!
I HATED the FAFSA. And I still have way too much in school loans. Good luck with yours
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