Shhh, just go with it.

I don't make a lot of sense.

This is something I know and like about myself.  Naturally, it annoys the flaming piss out of me when someone tries to point this out to me like it is a failing.

I find most people do a lot better with me if rather than trying to understand this mess, they just go with it.

This is why I liked my college freshman roommate so much.

For the purpose of anonymity, I will refer to her as Princess Sparkle Jewel Fairy.  Plus, I'm pretty sure she would love that.

Princess Sparkle Jewel Fairy is a character and I learned her mannerisms, likes, dislikes, pet peeves and health conditions pretty damn fast.

First of all, she looks like Barbie.  Because of this, most people underestimate her when they first meet and are then blindsided when she slaps them with knowledge.  Or her ample bosom.  Either way.

 

This is kind of what she looks like.

She likes fans, but does not appreciate it when they blow on her as she sleeps (particularly the oscillating fan).

She didn't really like to shower.  So when she did, I would hang out in the bathroom and talk to her so she didn't get bored.

If she came to a concert or recital of a floormate, she could not sit still unless I gave her hard candy.

She hated when I watched the Weather Channel in the morning.

Before class, she would take an item of clothing out of her closet, throw it at me and say, "This would look pretty on you." 

She was (and still is) so very odd.  I really liked this about her, so I opted to accept it and embrace the crap out of it.

In return, she did the same for me.

She knew I couldn't sleep unless the bathroom door was shut AND locked.

She knew I couldn't go to sleep at night until I cracked every bone in my body.

When I came back from class having failed yet another music theory quiz, she would put on her shoes, pick up her keys and say, "Starbucks?"

If I wanted someone to leave our room, without batting an eye she would say, "My roommate is getting a migraine.  Everyone needs to leave."


She didn't judge my lack of political knowledge. 

PSJF: Name a former president.
Sara: Uhh, Reagan?
PSJF: Good!  Okay, now what did he do?
Sara: Reaganomics.
PSJF: Excellent!  So, what is Reaganomics?
Sara: Small business?
PSJF:  Sort of!

What I'm saying is she and I did pretty well together because we are both wicked idiosyncratic and we chose to gather all those idiosyncrasies to our respective bosoms and cherish them like tiny, quirky chinchillas.

For the most part, I find people are pretty happy to just go along with my ridiculousness.  But every now and then, there's that one person.

You know who I'm talking about.  We'll call her Sharon.

Sharon insists on pointing out how weird it is every single time you say "pop" instead of "soda." 

Sharon is also really bothered by how much TV you watch. She only watches CNN and The Hallmark Channel (of course she does).

Sharon thinks it's really irresponsible that you've never had an MRI despite your persistent 10-year run with hiccups.

Sharon thinks it's really strange how worked up you get about Walmart.  It is just a store, after all.

Sharon can't believe you haven't been on a hike, skiing, rock climbing or camping since you've been here.  It's like you're not even trying.

Sharon, if you haven't figured it out, is a hateful shrew.

The moral of this story is that we all need to embrace the wacky within each other.

So, if your co-worker hates olives because she thinks they're looking at her, help her out!  Get rid of the filthy bastards!

If your roommate can't form coherent sentences until he's had his 3rd cup of coffee, then shut your mouth and let him caffeinate. 

If your neighbor makes his dog drink urine instead of water because it's sterile and he fears parasites... okay, well call PETA because that shit is wrong.

But you get the point, right?