Birthdays are better when you set stuff on fire

My dad is another year older, but as far as I can tell, very little has changed.

He still keeps the thermostat at the balmy temperature of 67 degrees. He still makes a lot of "old man noises" whenever standing up. And, he still thinks there is not nearly enough ZZ Top played on the radio.

To celebrate this momentous occasion, we built a fire in the living room, got out some African drums and sacrificed a live moose in honor of his being one year closer to getting the senior citizen discount at Wendy's.

After that, we went to a Japanese steakhouse for dinner (moose sacrificing rituals are much more tiresome than you would imagine).

We enjoyed some shrimp and steak (torn to bits and set on fire for out entertainment) and also some playful banter with our assigned chef.

He somehow managed to embarrass every single person at the table at some point during the evening.

He told the young couple at the end of the table (who had clearly just started dating) that they should get drunk and get married.
He asked our friend soft-spoken friend Marilyn if she spoke English because she wasn't talking.
He told my parents that since it was my dad's birthday, they should go home and work on a third child.
He made me blush by hitting on me the entire time. (I'm not going to pretend it wasn't an awesome self-esteem booster, because it was.)



Once we all moved past our respective mortification, we enjoyed the food and each other's company. I think the whole evening may best be summed up with the following exchange:


Chris Farley: Uh.. remember when you were in The Beatles? And, um, you did that album Abbey Road, and at the very end of the song, it would.. the song goes, "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make"? You.. you remember that?
Paul McCartney: Yes.
Chris Farley: Uh.. is that true?