Sister Christian, oh the time has come...

You know those mornings when it takes you longer than normal to button your pants?

Or perhaps, you get your morning coffee and then just stare at it, because you can't remember what you do next?

I've been off all day.  I couldn't figure out why, but then it hit me.

SHE'S LEAVING.

My dearest, redheaded, Mormon, nugget of joy is leaving the MTC for Finland today.

Now, Finland and I have already had our exchange of words, so I'm trying to be a grown-up about it.  Easier said than done, I fear.

But who will laugh understandingly at my awkward encounters when I quote "Center Stage" to the wrong person? 
("Why is that trash out there dancing your part?!")

And who will call me before I go on a first date and remind me not to talk about mermaids?
(It only happened once, I swear.)

Who will write me e-mails to let me know that one of her 5 year old nephews was going to the bathroom at a restaurant and pointed to her and declared, "I want YOU to hold my penis"?

It appears I will have to entertain myself quite a bit over the next 16 months.

Congratulations, Lisa!  I pray Finland embraces you and doesn't make you eat poorly cooked fish (or puffin)!

Lutefisk can suck it.

Dear Finland,

You and I are in a fight.

I just spent the last 3 days saying goodbye to Lisa, my dearest friend and redhead.




Why, at this very moment, she is embarking upon her first day at the MTC in Provo.

And while I'm so happy for her and have every confidence in her ability to be a bitchin' Sister Mish, you are not off the hook.

I've got beef with you, and since I'm in a graduate program that's teaching me to be a good communicator, what's say you and I have this out right now?

First of all, Lisa comes from Georgia. You see the obvious problem, right? Yeah, you're frickin' cold. Lisa doesn't like being cold, so let's knock that off.

Second, why are your flights so expensive? I don't have a lot of money, and I would like to be able to take an impromptu trip to Helsinki should I feel so inclined.

And another thing- what is your fixation with fish? Personally, I'm okay with it. Lisa, however, gags on it. Don't you guys have grilled cheese?

Finally, I think your language is made up. Even though Lisa seems to have a decent hold on you already, it sounds like straight up mish-mash to me. Do you have something personal against the use of vowels? I mean, consonants are great, but everything in moderation.

So, what have we learned?

1) Be warmer.
2) Be cheaper.
3) Make use of your local livestock.
4) Add vowels.

As long as you abide by these simple rules, I think we may just be able to make this work... you filthy reindeer lickers.

Mormons and reindeer

This fancy lady right here...



...through this place right here...



...will be going to this place...



...to talk about this...



...among these beauties...



...while possibly gnawing on one of these.

Congratulations, Lisa! Those crazy-ass Finns are lucky to have you!

As for the rest of you, please enjoy this cartoon jingle Lisa found that clearly depicts what Finland is all about: