Like last year, but not!

I so wanted to make this post a special, moving event.

However, when it gets right down to it, I'm lazy and really busy ignoring a good bit of homework, which, I'm still convinced, will do itself.

Today is my 26th birthday.

I feel pretty good about it.  I mean, 25 blew giant camel chunks, so I figure this should be a camel-free calendar year.

In the style of the new year, I will make a list regarding what I would like out of my 26th year of life.


In my 26th year of life, I will...

...get the flaming piss out of North Carolina.

...learn how to do my taxes like a big girl.

...continue not getting pregnant or contracting venereal diseases.

...learn all the words to the Dixie Chicks' "Sin Wagon."

...stop apologizing for not liking Greek food.  That's right, it gives me the trots!

...secure the affections of a Puerto Rican cheese maker for a dairy-filled, torrid affair.

...secure a high paying job with butt-loads of benefits, a masseuse on staff, a pie shop downstairs and my very own personal bathroom with a door that looks like it's part of the wall.

...become engrossed in a Mexican soap opera.

...begin slapping people dramatically when things aren't going my way.  ("What do you mean my dry cleaning isn't ready?   Mentiroso!")

...stop judging people just because they like things I hate, like clowns, mushrooms, the color orange, American cheese and country music.

... bump into Jason Sudeikis by chance at a local wine festival and dazzle him with my sommelier skills ("You see how this one is red?  That means it's different from the ones that are more...oh, what's the word...white.")


I will do my best to be Lucy Logic here, as I understand one or two of these may not take place.  For example, it is highly unlikely that I will ever do my own taxes.  If you've ever seen how hard it is for me to add numbers in my head, you'd be on board.

However, if I bump into that Puerto Rican cheese maker, I'll let you know.

I would also like to wish a happy birthday to a very talented gentleman, who has forever altered our world for the better, and with whom I'd like to share my birthday glory. 

Robert Palmer, you'll always be "simply irresistable" to me.