Halloween and I don't get along.
For starters, I've had many a piss-poor Halloween in many a different location.
England - When I was 6 years old, I went as a cheerleader. Wait, it gets worse. I think I got a little too excited as we left my house, so I started skipping across the lawn. Three seconds later I had face planted and was eating dirt. I had ripped my tights, skinned my knees and was making quite a fuss. I went back home with one of my parents and I'm pretty sure I stayed there for the rest of the night.
Germany - When I was 8 years old, I got pneumonia the day before Halloween. I wasn't allowed to go trick-or-treating the following evening. I stayed home with my mom and watched movies.
Indiana - When I was 9, my best friend's birthday was the day before Halloween. To celebrate her birthday, she liked to go to the haunted mansion that was put together by the local high school. I hate shit like this. This pattern continued until I was 13 and finally cried hard enough to show her I didn't want to go anymore.
North Carolina - Last year, I had plans to go to my first Halloween party in years, and to dress up for the first time in years. I was actually quite excited. In the end, I got a particularly foul migraine and stayed at home in my room while my boyfriend at the time went to the party.
On top of all that, I'm quite lazy. Thinking up a costume, putting it together and then actually getting dressed up in it is like, hard and stuff.
Plus, I just don't do slutty well. I think it goes against nature. I tried to convince myself I could pull it off last year but nature got back at me with shooting pains behind my eyes and debilitating waves of nausea.
I really do hate nature.
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26 comments:
The Husband gets injured a lot, so last year I was going to be a nurse to his patient. Unfortunately, no adult nurse costume I could find was suitable for a costume party with friends from church. Not. One.
after reading england and germany, i totally thought that said india. nope. indiana. well good for you. indiana is WAY cooler than india.
I'm holding out hope that you'll have Halloween in a very good way this year!
nature should be pimp slapped on the daily. i'm just sayin. and i, for one, do not dress up for halloween. nope. but i DO enjoy coming up with costumes for my little puppets, erm....i mean children. ;)
See, I miss being little, when Halloween costumes were actually supposed to be creative instead of skanky. Sexy Bumblebee? Seriously? That one was the last straw for me. This year I'm thinking of going as a Sexy Dinosaur, just to show all the sluts out there.
Yeah, I usually have a similar experience. I also feel this way about New Years. Mine is always pretty mellow, even though I feel compelled to do something.
This year John and I are running a race on the Halloween morning. I know a lot of people there will be in costume, but I just don't care enough to think up something cute and that I can run in. So I'll just pretend to be a surly teenager.
Man, you did have some crappy halloweens! You know for the longest time, I tried to convince myself that I liked haunted houses. I tried to make myself go for years (but I loooooove them!) before I finally accepted the truth. Which is that I FREAKING HATE THEM. They freak me out bad. So no more haunted houses for me.
I never liked halloween, but my husband loves it, so I do what I can to enjoy the month with him.
But I put him through my own special kind of hell when I MAKE him enjoy Christmas with me. Payback is awesome.
I don't have the energy to get excited for Halloween. I used to, but since the kids have gotten older and started going to the dentist? All I see are hundreds of pieces of candy AKA hundreds of dollars of dental filling bills. How LAME is my ass?!
You could always steal my husband's costume and go as FatBat. (It's an overweight Batman and it is amazing.)
I'll send you a pic on Halloween, ok?
I apologize for the unfunny, unwitty, unwordy comment. I left it all at Cathy Antsy Pants.
Did you see our love was mentioned on Mimi's blog?
I'm kind of meh about Halloween. My oldest's allergies usually flare up around that time every year. Traditionally, post Trick or Treating he coughs till he pukes his candy all over his room. Good times.
Wow your Halloweens have been...eventful yet horrid. LOL! I'm sorry, that really sucks.
Yeah, I'm also really terrible at picking out costumes for Halloween. Ever since high school, it seems the thing to do is put on a bathing suit and some bunny ears and that's a costume. :S Like you, I don't do sexy well. I wish I knew more people who were creative and put together cute, fun, unique costumes.
Well, good luck. I hope this Halloween is awesome for you and you find a great costume. :)
Very peculiar...though getting sick in Germany makes sense as they're all hypochondriacs. Every single one. It's true.
Also, just wrap a box of cereal around your neck with a plastic knife sticking out of it and be a serial killer.
But think of all the candy!
I don't do slutty either. Some of the costumes for women are shocking.
Maybe this year will be YOUR Halloween year.
You lost me at Indiana. Seriously, you went from Germany at age 8 to Indiana a year later? That's just wrong. On so many levels.
Whose sister are you? I don't remember any of this.
I'm bummed that I'm not going to a Halloween party this year and will probably not be able to put up with my hair for a whole year after, so I won't be able to do my Sexy Jesus costume.
I don't do slutty well either. At least not anymore. It's harder to pull off with my ever expanding ass.
I, too, am a non-slutty celebrator. That's why I throw Rugrat-themed costume parties (true story) and the like -- kind of set expectations so no one's surprised when I arrive looking like a cartoon instead of an inexplicably vampish zombie cheerleader.
This is why we're blog friends.
I think maybe you gave up on the slutty too soon.
Did you see them burning the effigy of Guy Fawkes in England?
You are pretty lucky to have spent Halloween in so many different places around the world. You must have had a really cool childhood. - G
i'm with you, girl - i say no to halloween! halloween and NYE - no thanks!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
So sorry to hear Halloween has been such a bitch to you Sara. I LOOOVVVEEE the holiday, yet I never dress up. I celebrate by cooking chili and torturing my horror hating husband with scary movies and gore!
It's my superbowl;)
saddest. post. ever!!! Bless your heart - everyone deserves a great halloween in life!! Next year you and me we'll find some type of craziness to get into that's anti-slutty and has lots of candy and NO head pains!!!
P.S. I've never done slutty well I always see Halloween as the one time of year I can goth or gore up anything and wear dark eye make-up that I would NEVER wear on a regular basis... maybe in 30 more years I can actually perfect it... I'm SUCH a boy when it comes to make-up! It's also a fun time to dress up as something you always wanted to be, which for me is never really a slutty thing - I'm a real life slut.. .(not really).
I feel the need to share with you that my speed bump costume won first prize at a costume party over the weekend. Oh yes it did! Pictures coming soon to the ol Facebook. ;-)
And I am sorry that you hate Halloween so. I love it, so I can't empathize. But Christmas is RIGHT around the corner!
This is kind of really shocking to me. Not because I think you are particularly adept at pulling off slutty, but because I would think that crafty costumes would make you all orgasmic...like deciding to go as Senate Bill 756 or something. Am I way off? Huh. And I thought I knew you so well.
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