And so is hers:
I also like to refer to her as Mrs. Threadgood and Giant Piece of Shit, depending on her attitude at that particular moment.
While test-driving this fine piece of machinery, I remember thinking that it drove like a tank, it sounded like a crabby old lady and it looked like a giant glob of bean curd.
I loved it.
So, I bought it, slapped some new tires on it and put my fuzzy dice in place. And as soon as I find one bad-ass enough (much to my dad's dismay), I will be classing this sucker up with a bumper sticker... or twelve.
Madame and I have already developed a very special relationship. A bond, if you will.
I've learned that she does not appreciate going uphill or over 20 mph unless she has been warmed up for at least 8 minutes prior.
She prefers to be unlocked from the passenger door.
If the gas cap is not on tight, and I mean as tight as one could possibly tighten, a fun little light comes up on the dashboard, instructing me to have the engine serviced. And it stays on.
I respectfully asked Madame to knock that crap off.
She politely invited me to stick it.
I think we're going to get along just fine.
P.S. I'm currently entertaining suggestions to giver her a little more character on the outside, to match the bitchiness on the inside. Oh, and the tackier, the better. She'll like that.
21 comments:
I'm so distracted by the trash heap- is that from Fraggle Rock?
Like the comparison and conversation between you two!!!
OMMFG!!!!!
The trash heap from Fraggle Rock?!?!?!
With those little rodent things?
"Trash Heap.....nyahhhh!"
My van, I call it the $25K Trashcan on Wheels.
I believe your car and mine are sisters. Mine (named Pretty Fine Lady) is currently in the shop after having been rear-ended TWICE in one month. I'm starting to think the public no longer wants her on the rode and is trying to shove her off. Pretty Fine Lady's revenge will be to outlive every car bully and doubter. She ain't pretty, but she's got moxie.
Add my girl to the trashy car clique. What a bunch of cheap sluts.
Paint flames on the side.
spinny rims from wal mart.
You could always get a vinyl window decal that says "Spoon Me." Always classy. I definitely have on my heap. :) I think I may even have an extra one around here somewhere. Email me and I just may send it to you!
I love Fraggle Rock! I have the 1st season on DVD. I also have a Fraggle Rock ringtone on my cell. Have fun decorating your 'trash heap'!!!
Flames. I say she needs flames painted on her doors and a shag carpeted ceiling.
So glad you and your new ride are getting along so famously!
While I'm very pleased to meet Mrs. Threadgood, I'm MUCH more impressed that you posted a picture of the trash heap from Fraggle Rock. You are my people. That was pure awesome.
My very own 1996 Mustang, Colonel Ketchup, randomly leaks antifreeze all summer. Now THAT is a good time. I have a feeling that the Col and the Mrs. would get along fabulously.
How about decals on the doors, calvin pissing, animals doing weird things to one another. Or you could always paint on some racing stripes.
She's badass and I love it. What about blue lights under the bumper? I don't remember off the top of my head what that's called... but it would be awesome and illegal.
Ah, I was going to ask about the trash heap, but earlier commenters have identified where she'd from!
We have a car with character too - it's a VW camper van called George.
It's so much more fun.
:) congrats on the new piece of crap
I remember the trash heap from Fraggle Rock.
Have fun with your new car.
I loooooved Fraggle Rock!! I had forgotten about her!
Also superb description of your new car. I think you two will have a wonderfully divine relationship together!
I had a bitch like that for a car once. She left me high and dry in the middle lane of a busy intersection once...and to think I had dumped some peanut M&M's in the dash for her. Ungrateful little slut.
Madame sounds fabulous. And if you want to class her up, do what an old art teacher of mine did: hand a bunch of art students brushes and a few cans of paint and tell them to go at it.
trash heap! That's what I call B.
What an odd little car. Hmmmmm... let me think on this one.
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