I have a short paper due tomorrow morning. On top of that, I have two Power Point presentations to create for my professor/boss. Also due tomorrow.
Have I mentioned that I think Power Point blows llama pellets?
Anyway, this is an example of what my brain does when I am "working":
I should really write this paper.
Did I eat lunch?
Where is my pen?
Not that pen. The other pen.
Okay, title page...
I swear I didn't eat lunch.
Thank God this thing is double-spaced.
I hate being left-handed.
Turn the TV off, Sara.
Oh right, I had a salad.
Why is my thumb so cold?
Introductions are bullshit...
Maybe school will be canceled tomorrow.
Salad is hardly lunch.
Man vs. Food is such a good show.
Seriously, why is my thumb so cold?
I should have a burrito.
Oh right, start my paper.
I have an odd crush on Adam Richman.
I wonder if he's married.
Didn't I just pee like ten minutes ago?
Don't kid yourself. We'll have school tomorrow.
Son of a bitch, I can't move my arms!
I would be so much more productive without the Travel Channel.
Yoga and snow shoveling is a deadly combination.
Crank it out, Sara. Just buckle down and write!
I have a bladder the side of a grape.
Maybe a snack would help.
Wow, Adam's eyelashes look like Snufflupagus's.
If I had worked from the time I started, I'd be done.
What should I have for dinner tonight?
My bangs are out of control.
If Taylor Swift cleans up at the Grammy's, I will throw down.
Sonya's online! I'll talk to her!
Two sentences. So far, so good.
I had salad for lunch, so I could have fried lard for dinner and it'd even out.
I think I could happily live in Brooklyn with Adam.
Good God, I still haven't peed, have I?
I wonder what Gloria Estefan is up to...
Why is there a Pop-Tart in my purse?
My paper is supposed to be at least 3 pages.
I currently have 2 pages and I am drawing a blank for the last one.
Oh, and Adam Richman? Don't be frightened. I just think with your sense of humor, your love of food and your ridiculously long eyelashes that we could probably be in love.
That's all.
But more importantly, why is that Pop-Tart in my purse and not in my mouth?
33 comments:
Sounds uncomfortably similar to what goes through my head every time I sit down to study. I procrastinate until mere hours before an assignment is due, and I swear to myself that NEXT time, I will be better.
A week later, I sit down to write another paper, and the first thing I think is, "Why ISN'T there a poptart in my purse?" I should have better foresight.
Hmm. Yes. This was similar to MY train of thought back when i had to write papers. And then I would obsess needlessly over fonts, and what the title page should look like, etc. I was really productive.
Also? Adam? Totally adorable. Even with grease from a massive hamburger dribbling down his chin. Even with crazy amounts of sweat from the 345345 jalapeno peppers he's just consumed. Even then.
This is freakin' HILAROUS! I thought I was the only one who got cold thumbs... :0
I'm not sure I'd want to live with Adam. He's absolutely adorable, but I worry about his intestinal health. I mean, if it burns that much going in, can you imagine what it's like coming out? Just sayin'. I don't want to be the one to have to clean up after one of his twelve-pound challenges.
It's stuff like that that runs through my mind when I watch MVF. And, I'm totally stalling right now, 'cause I've got 136 students that I have to figure out how to schedule into a handful of classes without any of those classes being larger than 30 students.
Let's trade! I'll write your paper and you can schedule my students!
This sounds so much like me! I was the queen of procrastinating until the last minute when I was in college. I also should have received an A+ in bs artistry.
Good luck getting your paper and powerpoints* finished.
*Most useless computer program in the history of ever.
That's how I write a blog post!
essays and powerpoints are going to be the death of civilization. especially when our brains are completely against focusing and they retaliate by telling us we should definitley leave this assignment until absolutely necessary...and even then!
I recognize that train of thought as I have ridden on it for every project I have ever been on. And Man V Food? Full of the awesome. Now I have to look at his lashes.
You just described what was my exact paper writing process in college, and now has become my exact working process for my research job.
Also, I think there must be some sort of scientific relationship between need to write a paper, need to eat about 5,000 calories, and need to pee every five minutes. Someone should do a study on that.
Ha! I do the same thing with my pens when I sit down to read an article. "Oh, I should get up and get another pen...this one isn't...dark enough. Whatever."
Tonight, I made granola and two smoothies for the upcoming week as a way to put off starting my homework. Success!
I'm so glad I'm not in college anymore. Also, Man v. Food is available on Netflix, instantly, and through our xbox. We watched two episodes today and he was eating this 3 lb cinnamon roll and now I am totally craving a giant cinnamon roll or even multiple small ones.
Powerpoint? Barf.
dear lord i felt like i was supposed to be writing a paper when I read this...but why don't you like being left handed?! being left handed is awwwwwesome! papers=sucky. i feel your pain love!
you are preaching to the choir lady. It's a good thing I'm not in school right now.
HAHAHA. first of all. I hate Taylor Swift.
She used to be a guilty pleasure, but the thought of her winning over my Gaga makes me want to stabe her in the throat. (<---- too much?)
anyway. Lady Gag/Elton John=LEGENDARY!
P.S. I know there is a book I should be writing. lol.
How about you just turn in this blog post as your third page? Then eat. Then pee.
This was pretty much my entire writing method for college. There was a lot of Lifetime, several closet re-arranging episodes, and a couple of make-up trials before I ever started writing. Oh, and I have to do homework in a spotless apartment. Which is just all very crazy because it's not like I'm building a diorama...I LIKE to write...so you wouldn't think it would be that hard.
Also, I learned yesterday that yoga + shoveling snow makes for a VERY angry muscled-Monday. I'm so glad I don't have to raise my arms above my head today. I plan on doing activities only at waist-level.
Hope you got everything finished, and if not, I'm sure you have an excellent Plan B.
My brain works smilarly when I have things I need to do. Amazing how the art of procrastination is so easily learned.
My SOP in college was to wait until the night before to start the paper... usually would start at about 11pm and finish up around 4a-5a...
I'd say at least 3/4 of my papers were that way.
i -not to secretly- love him too
and how is he not fatter
bastard men and their calorie burning abilities
You. Are. The. Best.
Seriously. And you better have finished all of you writing/projects by now.
Wow. I think I am going to re-read this one more time. It was that good.
that's totally how i work- you rock for putting it so perfectly. i watched man vs. food yesterday for what felt like hours. i feel so sad when food wins. i want to give him a hug.
Wow. I thought I took forever to get something done! When I'm on my computer my right hand always gets really cold sometimes I have to wear a glove. And I was so so sore on Friday, I felt like my whole body was just going to fall apart.
that is funny, and the thought of llama pellets enough to make you not want that pop tart :) (though the brown sugar flavor is DEEE lightful!)
You're one step above Liz Lemon...at least the pop tart is not in your bed.
I'm not sure if I love the guy or all that pie more...
I hope you got to at least 2.5!!
I love Adam too. I want to be on his show as his sidekick.
Ha! Yoga and snow shoveling is NOT a good mix.
We watched the Man v. Food marathon on Sunday. Can you say cabin fever?!
What's your paper about? And is throw down a good thing or not? And who is Adam Richman?
ah yes... stream of consciousness. You should write a paper about that. hahaha! Way to procrastinate!
Great minds think and work alike. Sigh...
when it rains it pours. i love pop tarts. who is adam richman?
Kiran
That was just perfect, Sara.
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