There are days when school sucks giant tuna fish.
I often have to remind myself that I was the one who decided going back to school was such a brilliant idea, because I will walk around muttering, "Whose idea was this?!"
For those of you who are new to this mess, I am the laziest excuse for a student currently enrolled in a graduate program.
Occasionally when I meet someone new and explain that I'm studying to be a therapist, I get a very impressed reaction.
This makes me feel like a phony, so I do my best to assure them that it's really not a big deal. It's kind of like when a stranger compliments me on my scarf or purse. I have to make sure they know that I got it at Target. On sale. With a coupon. Last season.
Not sure what that's about.
My favorite part of school, as many of you know, is dreaming about where I will go when I'm free from the beautiful but claustrophobic mountains of North Carolina.
While I talk a lot of smack about NC, there are some things that I have realized the South does better than anyone else:
Biscuits and chivalry.
These are two things I know I will miss something fierce when I leave this place.
Now, you may be from New England and are protesting, "I make wicked good biscuits from scratch!" Look, I have no doubt that you do, but I would bet your recipe was smuggled out of Georgia or Alabama centuries ago. Just make peace with it.
I mean, you don't see the South going around laying claim to polenta or deep dish pizza, now do you?
Regarding the latter, chivalry is something I appreciate so much down here. I get ma'amed all the time, and I LOVE IT.
The other thing that just gets me all sorts of giddy is their ability to open doors.
Nothing puts a smile on my face like a 70 year old man opening and holding the door and then winking at me as I walk by. I'm not saying Northern men aren't capable of opening doors, but in my experience, they're a lot less consistent about it. And it is definitely not their pleasure.
(I've gone on a tangent about this before, so you know I feel strongly about it.)
So, while I know I'll go into a bit of withdrawal when I lose both of those things, I already have something ready to jump in and fill the void...
Someday in the near future, I will look up into the tired eyes of my surly waitress and say, "I'd like an iced tea, please," and she will reply, "Okay."
I will not specify that it is to be unsweetened and she will not ask, because there will be an understanding. That iced tea is to be good and bitter.
Just the way the North intended.
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26 comments:
hahahaha!
Oh. *stab wounds directly into the heart* I was all "sweet tea! sweet tea!" until I scrolled down to see that you're not a fan. OK...so you won't miss the little bit of tea mixed in with your 3 cups of sugar. But please tell me you'll miss grits. I mean grits + cheese + garlic = orgasm...right?? If not, then I'm afraid you're going to have to hand in your NC driver's license and house swap me with right now because I need cheese grits and sweet tea like oxygen. But damn...they do make good biscuits.
We're in NC now, but when we were living in PA, Hubs always asked for a sweet tea and would get blank looks.
I think you'll be in NC long enough to LEARN to APPRECIATE sweat tea.
Just talking about it makes me want to go make some right now...
Anyways, the biscuits, oh, the biscuits. Southerners really know how to make them, and cornbread, and everything that's better with butter in it.
Also, the south does have a sort of claim to polenta, only they call it Grits, like nature intended. It's not exactly the same, as Grits are better.
Hate to break it to you, but the sweet/unsweet thing is creeping north. Not that Colorado's north-north, but recently there's been an influx of sweet tea. Here's hoping you get north-north before it creeps up there!
Haha. I love the boys/men opening doors for me. It's so much better here in Boone than in Charlotte. I love the little comment "Ladies, first." It makes me feel like I'm one step closer to being a princess. I love Biscuits. Especially from Bojangles or Chick-fil-a. I don't drink Sweet or Iced Tea, I know I'm an embarrassment to southern culture. Oh well, I'll survive.
oh lady....i would KILL for a biscuit! oh bread, how i miss thee, let me count the ways......and well, as far as the tea goes you know i don't partake, but i'm all down for the ma'amin! makes me feel like a lady! bwaaahahaaa!!!*fart*snort*
I only discovered last summer that Americans have something called biscuits (as opposed to what we call biscuits, and you call cookies). I've been trying to find one to sample, ever since, without success - but I do appreciate that I haven't been to the right part of the country. Do you have a recipe??
PS I'm British... we invented chivalry. :p
Some women get so pissed off when I call them "ma'am"... seriously bitch, get over it. I'm not calling you "ma'am" because you're old or I think you're old. I'm calling you ma'am because you're a lady and I call all ladies "ma'am" regardless of their age. I call 14yr old girls and 70yr old women "ma'am". "Ma'am" is a term of respect, not age.
I agreed with absolutely everything.
Up until the iced tea part.
And then my heart broke a little.
Unsweetened iced tea is not tea, it's just leaf water!
Iced tea should be sugary and sweet. Just the way the SOUTH intended!
I agreed with absolutely everything Kay said... up until the sweet ice tea part.
Tea should be brewed and drank hot. Once it's cold, pour it out and make a new pot.
Chivalry in the south is a beautiful thing. Even the women hold the doors from time to time!! And I love when i go to a restaurant that asks, "sweetened or unsweetened?" That's the absolute best.
That is funny, but sad too!
Here in Oregon, the guys don't know what chivalry is. Even my husband is lameballs about it.
And when they call me ma'am, I wanna cry cuz I know they just think I'm old.
i love sweet tea.
i think i might give you a run for your money on who is the laziest excuse for a grad student, and yes, i hate school SO much too...SO much.
this was wonderful, as always, and i love your new pic, you are so 2010 mary tyler moore, and what is up with the south and their freaking tea? i don't get it. up here in cleveland, we only drink tea in the SUMMER. even crazier, i know.
I made it a point to teach my 8 year old son a bit about chivalry. Specifically, I shared with him the merits of and the supreme importance of opening doors for women of every age, shape, size, and color. He took my message to heart. In fact, he is so consumed with the idea of making it to the door before I do in order to open it for me, that he once shoulder-shoved me out of the way so he could beat me to the door and thus politely hold it open for me. What a sweetie, huh? I once had the bruises to prove it.
I'm sure the sweet tea from McDonalds is nothing like real sweet tea from the south, but the first time I tried it I almost vommed. TOO SWEET!
Love reading your blog, ma'am!
Sweet tea rocks. I can't drink the regular stuff. It's like weird tasting water to me.
Here in california, maybe because I live in a large town (200,000) that thinks it's a small farming community, there are a lot of polite, considerate people... it's nice I agree.
I also agree that Tea should be plain, unless I add something to it. like lemon and some Splenda or something.
Re: Having to tell people you got your bag at Target on sale with a coupon.
I DO THIS TOO! Why do we do this? I will never ever understand it!
Anyway, you're right about the South. My mom lives in Charleston and it's like a whole different world down there with the chivalry. And the food. OMG the food. She's talking about moving to Arizona and where am I going to get my southern cooking then? It's not the same up here!
Actually maybe it's better that I stay away from it. I'll go visit her for a week and gain 5 pounds.
Julie,
I want to hear all about it. I love meeting underachieving students!
Salt,
Does your mom know they don't have gravy in Arizona? That might change her mind.
I'm surprised there aren't more "The North rules" comments above. Well, more likely that would come from the South, am I right? P.S. The North Rules
Part of your post that's not getting much attention is your characterization of mountains as "claustrophobic." I always thought I was alone in feeling claustrophobic in mountainous areas! Presumably one should feel the opposite. The Hills are Alive and all that. Oh well.
I'm sure it has to do with the fact that I'm from New England and grew up near the ocean. Which leads me to my next point: The North Rules.
Hmmm, yes these are all good reasons to miss the south. I'll miss their ability to make EVERYTHING fried. It just bewilders me.
Thanks for the birthday wishes :)
I LOVE getting ma'amed!!!
Not a huge fan of the "ma'am," but loved everything else you mentioned. After several years in Virginia, I forgot doors aren't magical contraptions that always open on their own.
That means I've 1) walked right in front of people assuming they were holding that door for me, and 2) just smacked into a few non-magical portals. Sigh.
But now I have coffee shops every 500 feet (it's the law). So I'm okay.
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