I cannot move back to my hometown. EVER.
Please don't misunderstand. I still love it here. I'm terribly happy to be home and will continue to be filled with joy and bunnies whenever I visit.
What does not fill me with a butt-load of elation is every awkward encounter I get to have with people...
- ...with whom I used to attend high school
- ...I know through a friend of a friend
- ...I met that one time at the place with the stuff
"Hey... I'm fine, yeah...how are you?...cool, yeah...so...grad school...yeah...no, it's good, I like it....what are you up to?...wow, I love needlepoint....haha...no, me too...sure....yeah, so...great to see you....right, for sure....take care...bye!"
Sweet mother of pearl. Few things make me itchier than some version of that conversation.
I hate these chats so much that when I see someone I sort of know from that one time we may or may not have sat next to each other in chemistry that one day, I will avoid eye contact like the plague and suddenly become incredibly fascinated with my shoelace.
Ever so rarely will I invite another person into my line of vision, let alone engage him or her in conversation.
What ever happened to the classic smile and wave? Or the ever so impersonal:
"Hey, how are you? Yeah, me too. Well, good seeing you!"
Or, my personal favorite, simply pretending you didn't see each other?
It's not just me, is it?
Oh hell, is it?
32 comments:
I've worked in various medical offices around town and in the small surrounding towns and have spent the last six years teaching in medicine. I get a lot of those awkward conversations. Most of my former patients don't outright recognize me in street clothes because I wore scrubs at the clinic, so I get the ever-awkward "I know you, but I don't quite remember where I know you from" conversations. Hate those. I'm all about the smile and wave. That's it. That's all I need.
I am right there with you!!! In fact today I pretended not to notice 2 people. No lie. I work in the small town I grew up in(but I no longer live there), and went to the grocery store at lunch today(mistake) and did the whole "oh, look whats on the shelf over here" to avoid eye contact. Yeah, I hate small talk and then to have to make small talk with that one girl I maybe played bball with in 8th grade...uncomfortable!
Aww, what's the fun in that!? I love to talk to people who I haven't seen in a long time.
It's best if you can pretend to have cancer or something. That'll end the conversation right there. Or talk about your hemorrhoids or something.
You COULD talk about aglets. You know, the plastic bit at the end of your shoelaces? Just stare at your shoes, if someone still strikes up a conversation, start talking about aglets. That's good clean fun.
They might think you're an alcoholic... but it's ok. Right?
PS - Did I tell you I gave you an award? If I did, nevermind... it was yesterday. Last night. Kay, bye.
Yes, such encounters are heinous. So heinous that I sometimes wish (forgive me), I could feign severe mental impairment at such times. (I cannot, in good conscience, do this.) It helps to have kids, though: I just look one of my children in his/her eyes and become completely engrossed in an impromptu conversation with him/her. Much more effective than shoelace conversations, by the way.
I'm the queen at ignoring people I used to know. Like seriously? We didn't talk for like four years, why put ourselves through this uncomfortable conversation to catch each other up?
When I go visit my parents, this is my fear. My parents are always wanting to go to places where these encounters seem inevitable. They just do not understand that - for the most part - if I have not connected with these people again at my high school reunion or via facebook (and soemtimes even at those places anyway)...I do not care.
Holly
Not just you, it can be utterly cringe-filled. Why the pretense of friendship when most the time you dont really want to know what they're doing with themselves. Ah misplaced politeness is a killer.
Nope. its not just you. The worst is when you are with you sister in a clothing store and you see a girl that used to go to your youth group and you whisper to your little sister that you are planning on avoiding her at the exact moment that she comes up to help you and then its awkward cuz you KNOW she heard you.... yeah... hate that...
Ooooohhh or there is this one. Meeting an ex girlfriend in a clothing store, but not recognizing her and when she asks if she remembers you... your like no... and then shes like... we used to date... and then you realize that your ex boyfriend... who is with you at that moment also used to date her and you point that out... awkward.
It's extra-weird when I go home in that no one recognizes me, so they don't even know to ask me those questions. Which sounds like a good thing, but you know how it's awkward when you know someone and they don't know you? It's that, times my entire hometown's population, pretty much.
MAN do I agree. Most of them peaked early though so I laugh at them and walk away all skinny. I'm a huge bitch.
Hahahahahaha! I've been meaning to post something like this for ages! I definitely avoid people when I see them out of context. Probably about 80% of people. It's not that I don't like them or want to see them . . . I just want to be forewarned. I want a familiar context. I DON'T like seeing childhood-only friends at a Braves game. I DON'T like seeing high school acquaintances at my home-town Target.
Why is this exactly? Maybe it's because I don't feel proud of what I'm doing with my life? I dunno. I should've just gone to medical school as planned . . . :/
oh come on!
if you weren't constantly running into people from HS how would you ever experience that amazing feeling of knowing you're better than everyone else because:
a)you haven't been drinking keystone light over the past 15 years
b)you know the father of both of your children
and
c)you didn't gain the hometown 40lbs that happens in your 30's (apparently)
here's to being shallow.
and better.
ugh I hear you. You would think my hometown wouldn't have that problem, since it's one of the biggest cities in the friggin country, but NOOOO, after college, I moved back, and I literally can't go ANYWHERE without running into suzie whatsherface from kindergarten or bobby whosit from highschool, and most of them still hang out together, talk about the same old stuff, and are basically sucky and boring, UGH. You can make it through the week!!! Happy Turkey Day!
I feel you! I still live in the same county where I grew up... just on the opposite end. On the very rare occasion I HAVE to go to the Walmart by my mom's house to pick something up, I run in and run out. Most of the time I escape unseen, but there's times when this girl who works there (I knew from Junior High/High School) tracks me down and MAKES me have awkward conversations with her. I hate it. I didn't like her back then. I don't like her now. Does that make me a bad person? lol
Stopping by from SITS! :)
I seem to always be reminded of someone I know in one place when I'm in another place. I have to stop myself from going to talk to someone who I really don't know. (I'll pay attention and avoid the ones who are looking at their shoelaces from now on!)
This happens to me every.single.time I go home for the holidays. And it's always on the one day I tell myself, "Aw, what could it hurt to go to the grocery store in ratty sweats stuffed into boots and a hoodie and no makeup?"
It's really fun to try to have a conversation under those conditions, no matter what you've accomplished since high school. All that matters is that I look like a homeless person took pity and gave me hand-me-downs.
Stopping by from SITS: sorry about your sinus issues...I feel your "pain"!
I'm the opposite. I went to my
30th high school reunion last Sept. and had an absolute blast.
Hope your Thanksgiving is a grand one!
For me it's always the painful "hey there.... you!"
Because I think I know their name, but chicken out of using it because I am not sure if I am right! So I desperately hope that somewhere in the conversation someone else will come up and address them!
I usually can't remember their names. It's a moment of oh, crap they saw me, quick think of something that doesn't involve saying their name.
Ugh, dread!
Oops...forgot to tell you I was dropping by from SITS. :)
I'm here to tell ya - it's not just you! I despise those conversations! Ugh!
***Ally
Forgot - I stopped by from SITS...
Nope. Not you. Me too. Hate it. Don't go on facebook under my real name because I don't want to be "found" and have that converstaion via text. You're totally normal in my book!
That is why I refuse to move to my husband's hometown. Everyone knows everyone and I hate having to have those conversations.
You need a pair of my super crazy and dweeby hairy nose glasses. That will keep people away for sure! My grandmother is also a Sara without the H! It's lovely.
I completely agree with this post, so it's not just you!
I got away from my own small hometown, but I now live in my husband's even smaller hometown.
I love the just pretending that I didn't see someone. I'm really bad about doing that. :-)
You know I miss home a lot, BUT I love the fact that I can go to the grocery store looking just plain awful and there's almost NO chance of running into someone I know. I like your blog and find you hialrious.
I do the whole must.not.make.eye.contact. thing and go about my business.
I'm Sarah WITH an H. Enjoy your SITS day - I'm loving your sass!
Ahaha. I'm totally like that too. Then I feel like a bitch for avoiding them or just wholey inadequte for not being able to come up with more stimulating conversation.
Awesome! I'm NOT the only one!!! My husband thinks there is something wrong with me because I HATE small talking when I see someone I knew way back when... I always feel weird and I'm afraid they woulnd't remember be and would totally be faking it... :)
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