Monday was my birthday. I'm 24 years old now.
While 24 isn't really a milestone age, I do feel a quarter-life crisis coming on within the next few years or so. Come to think of it, I'm not even sure what a quarter-life crisis would look like. Thanks to movies and television, I'm well aware of what a mid-life crisis looks like. For this earlier version, however, I think I may have to invent my own.
So, assuming I am in control of how this goes down, I think I'll have my quarter-life crisis when I'm 29. Most people freak out when they're 30, but I'd rather get this over with, so I think I'll move it up a year.
I imagine that when I turn 29, I will have a mild mental spasm regarding how little I've done, how much I have yet to do and how 30 is, of course, basically the end of my life as I know it.
To combat this, I marvel at the fact that I have yet to run a marathon, so I start my training for this. In that process, I totally forget that I hate running, I have bad knees, I have mild exercise-induced asthma, I have a bad attitude and oh, I hate running.
At the same time, I join the local quilting bee which starts to monopolize my time, and because I don't want to let down Marjorie, Berta and Florence (her friends call her Flo) by not completing my square on time, I let my marathon training slacken ever so slightly.
Sometime in my second or third week in the bee, Flo tells me all about her nephew, Mason ("He's a doctor, you know!"), and how we would be perfect for each other and Flo already gave him my number and he's going to call me tomorrow. Ugh, fine. I knew this would happen.
It turns out that Mason is tall, dark and handsome... and has the social skills of a soggy crouton. He drones on and on about his love of extreme backgammon (what the hell?) Cirque du Soleil and Kathy Griffin. Woof.
Meanwhile, I've completely stopped training for my marathon and am now totally avoiding the quilting bee because Flo wants to know when Mason and I are going out again and I do NOT hate myself enough to repeat that event.
Ultimately, I'm back where I started but I have managed not to admit it to myself. Either way, I feel much better about my life and can go on exactly as I was before my birthday.
I feel much better now.
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6 comments:
You're planning on living to 120?
You choose this moment to get picky about math?
Hahahaha! I'm putting you on my blogroll.
Your blog DOES look cute! :) And I have to say, as a 24-year-old, that yes, 24 IS the new pink. I'm just trying to figure out what 25 is gonna be...yikes. Your blog is hilarious! Have a wonderful weekend!
Wait until you get to 26 and people start asking you how old you'll be this year and you have to say 27 and you start spazzing because you're getting towards the end of your 20s and still don't have a job and oh my god I'm a mess. hehe. Seriously, just wait.
LOL I forgot to put that part of the game in my blog! Do you want a letter? How about the letter N?
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