"I promise I will not spit in anyone's food, unless they should request that I do."

I've been a reluctant texter for a while now.

While I do it (and do it well, I might add), I much prefer speaking on the phone or simply talking face to face.  You know, like humans used to do.

But I still do it.

Let me explain.

I don't mind a quick text or two to solidify plans or ask your partner/spouse/roommate/accountant to pick up an extra gallon of milk while they're out.

What I don't really care for is having a full blown conversation through text message when you could easily, and more efficiently, have that conversation speaking into the receiver.

There are, naturally, a butt-load of exceptions to this rule.  For example, you could be stuck in a boring meeting, watching your favorite show or perhaps you just had dental surgery and are unable to speak without drooling and frightening small children.

I could go on.

The one thing, however, for which there is no excuse, is the mass text.*

I hate the mass text.

I receive these mostly during major holidays, such as Thanksgiving or New Year's Eve. 

All this really says to me is that not only do you not like me well enough to call me, but you also have such little regard for me that you can't even send me my own personal text message.

Rarely do you look at a text the way you do a card and exclaim, "How thoughtful!"

I have recently become acquainted with someone who uses the mass text with wild abandon.

The first time he did this, I didn't realize that's what he had done.  I assumed he had contacted me personally with his desire to get out of the house and request for assistance in this matter.  I like to be a good friend, and I would hope a good friend would do the same for me were I in such need, so I cleared my schedule for the evening and we got some dinner.

Somewhere during the course of the evening, as he was recounting the unfortunate events leading up to his itch to leave his apartment (recent break-up), he mentioned how he was going nuts so he just "texted everyone" he knew.

How flattering.

About a week later, I received a similar text from the same guy expressing the same need.

Given that I am such a good friend, I decided to let him work this one out on his own.


Does anyone else get judgmental badger face like I do regarding the mass text?


*I'm sure there is a valid reason for the mass text, but this is my rant and I'm choosing to pretend no such reason exists at the moment.