Two, no six, no twelve, baker's dozen!

Hello, new people!

I have a good chunk of new followers and I'm so pleased to welcome you all into my dreamworld of magic.

For those of you still getting used to it over here, one of my time-honored traditions, and one into which I put a great deal of effort, is procrastination.  Seriously, I'm really good at it.

For example, at the moment I should be working on a take-home final that is due tomorrow morning.  While some would see this as the perfect time to "get cracking" on such a task, I see it as an ideal time to blog.

In the spirit of looming deadlines, I have received a few awards and would like to release those suckers into the world wide interweb.

I got this from Kelly over at Speaking From The Crib.

She is funny.

Like, "Archie comics" funny.

(I will give someone a nickel if they know what that's from.)

The point is, I like her and so should you.

I'm going to pass this one along to Sara over at Busy Nothings,

for she is my friend and she is lovely and smells nice, too.

I got this from AJ by way of Simple Sweet Inspiration.

If I were having a dinner party, not only would I invite her, but I wouldn't even ask her to bring anything.

I want to give this to Monique from A day in the life of a Surferwife.

I've never been so intrigued by the subject of corn nuts.

This came from Nathanael from This Is How it Feels.

He just returned from Iraq and is living it up Hoosier style at the moment.

He's a sweetheart and I kind of adore him.

This shall go to Kelly at SFTC.

Basically, this is my way of telling Kelly that...

...she and I are friends and I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!

You know what's funny?  If I got back to my final right now, turned off the TV and closed my laptop, I could probably crank that sucker out in thirty minutes.

Unfortunately, that goes against every fiber of my being.

 

 

Sorry, Mom.

Maturity is overrated... and so is your face!

Being an adult is a pain in the ass.

I'm in the process of fixing to attempt to sort of think about maybe trying to get right ready to go to grad school and let me just say that it blows fortified squirrel chunks.

I mean, you have to take the GREs (I've already expressed my thoughts about that joke of a test), you have to apply, you have to fill out forms, you have to write essays and you have to have it all in by a certain date (usually chosen to coincide with the Spring Equinox and the Incan new year). Now, that's all pretty standard and I have little to no problem with that part. Transcripts, however, are my own personal torture.

I ordered transcripts A MONTH AGO from my alma mater, thinking that because the fax machine spit out that page that says, "OK", that somebody over there picked it up and put it where it belongs. Instead, I'm pretty sure the office's designated Paper Goblin horked it down for a midday snack, or at least that's what they want me to think... higher education punks.

So now, I have just been informed that my fax was not received and I will, in fact, have to send it again, in hopes that an actual employee will grab it before the dreaded Paper Goblin gets his furry little paws on it (apparently I've decided goblins have paws now).

The OTHER part of being an adult that sucks fungus is finding a job. Here are my personal obstacles in this endeavor:

1) I may be leaving in June for grad school
2) The economy is in the crapper and not a lot of people are hiring
3) I'm picky

The first reason is the worst. I can't even say I will be leaving in June for grad school because, well, I don't know yet. So, when I fill out applications or go on interviews, I try to slyly omit that information, but they always weasel it out of me somehow. Plus, I don't like to lie, so I'm pretty much shooting myself in the foot.

Second, the jobs open right now are either crap jobs usually given to interns or students or managerial/accounting/computer geek positions for which I'm completely unqualified.

And last of all, I refuse to do food service or retail. I've done food service (like 5 minutes at Wendy's) and hated it. Plus, all I ever hear about retail positions are the horror stories of people screaming at you because they think you screwed them out of the 2% off coupon they found in the street. Once again, shooting myself in the foot.

If only someone would pay me to write down passing thoughts as they enter my brain, all from the comfort of my own home... dare to dream.

Standardized testing is crap

For as long as I can remember, I have been a poor test-taker.

Due to this waning ability in standardized testing, I got my first C in 5th grade in math (shocking, I know), followed by a lackluster high school career, dotted with Cs and Ds (who really needs chemistry if you're not going to be, you know, like, a chemist?).

Whose fault was this? Mine? God, no. It's their fault!

Who are "they", you might ask?

"They" have their hand in just about everything. I mean, think about it. "They say it's going to rain" or "Well, you know what they say!" Nosy bastards.

Where did these punks come from and how did they get to be so powerful? Well, I have a theory.

Back in Colonial times, or possible the days of Yore, a bunch of townspeople got screwy off some mead, made a list of rules as a joke and then slipped it under the mayor's pillow. Thinking it was from the town's mafia, Mayor McCheese (that's right, it's a family name) read the following:

"They say...

...you may eat food that has fallen on the ground, as long as no longer than 5 seconds passes. Henceforth, this shall be known as the Five Second Rule."
...you may drive past an accident at 2 mph, slowing traffic behind you so you can get a better look at a situation that has nothing to do with you."
...you may tell on your brother for not not touching you."
...you must get a certain number of points on a test we will create in order for your educational career to advance to a higher level of learning."
...once you pop (as soon as Pringles are invented), you may not stop."

Now, these are just some of the rules that "they" came up with. The point is, we're still listening to "them"! I'm pretty sure the hippies had it right when they were talking about sticking it to the Man. The Man has got to be one of "them", as far as I'm concerned.

Wait, why was I talking about this?

.....................................................................................

Oh, right. Standardized tests are pure poppycock.

This all came up due to my recent GRE scores. (Now, I'd like to point out that the only "studying" done for this test was the night before said test was taken, so I can take a little bit of heat for that.) My verbals scores were pretty good and my math scores abysmal. Nothing out of the ordinary. What I found to be completely unacceptable were my average writing scores.

Call it ego or advanced mental deterioration, but I think I'm a good writer. Whether or not you like what I'm saying is not the point. I generally have good sentence structure, colorful word choice and like to add lots of commas for good measure. Apparently, none of that matters these days. These people want you to, you know, have a point and like, support it. And stuff.

As far as I'm concerned, having a point is overrated and I often go out of my way to not have one. And furthermore, we are out of peanut butter!