Do you ever have conversations with the 16 year old version of yourself?
Sure you do.
I don't do this deliberately or with great intention, but every now and then I catch myself thinking, "This is not at all where I thought I'd be when I was sixteen..." Mind you, it's supposed to be a passing notion, meant to inspire wistful glances at azalea bushes as I think of days gone by while Adele conveniently becomes the soundtrack to my life.
But then this uppity tart chimes in every time and I'm forced to explain myself to her.
28: Wow, this is definitely not what I thought I'd be doing when I was sixteen...
16: Damn right. You're supposed to be the 4th member of Destiny's Child and married to Lance Bass!
28: Yeah, there are a couple holes in that plan...
16: So, what the hell happened? Didn't you go to school for music?
28: Yeah, why?
16: Well, you're a therapist.
28: Oh, right. Well, you're never going to believe this, but it turns out that getting a degree in vocal performance does not actually get one any closer to financial independence and stability.
16: Shut up, really? I feel like someone should've mentioned that.
28: I know, right?
16: Well, didn't you ever think about going to Chicago or New York to audition for shows?
28: I did think about that, but it sounded hard and I got sleepy and Queer Eye was on-
16: What?
28: You'll see.
I tell you, that is one mouthy sandwich girl.
Fortunately, my life did not turn out the way my 16 year old self had planned. Otherwise, I'd be married to a gay former boy-band member and I'd be singing back-up for Beyonce at the Superbowl in leather and fishnets while someone pretends they don't understand me when I ask them if my mic is on.
As a therapist, I encourage all of you to have a chat with your 16 year old self. This may help you gain insight, address insecurities, or deal with unresolved feelings in your life.
As a woman nearing her 30s who still cannot parallel park or properly fold a fitted sheet, I encourage you to tell that judgmental, little shit to get off your lawn.
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9 comments:
Glad you are blogging again! One day we will both parallel park together.
MY DREAM CAME TRUE!!! thanks for the blog post! i think anyone that says they can properly fold a fitted sheet is for sure lying. also, i learned how to parallel park on a john deer riding lawn mower with the use of two ornamental garden ducks. i highly recommend it.
It makes me so happy you're back!!
i don't even remember my 16 yr old self. i think he died a long, long time ago.
!!!! I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw that you had written a post!
And you totally delivered. This post was awesome.
I thought I was seeing things when this new blog post popped up. Hooray!
My 16-year-old self would also be confused that I chose health insurance and stability over performance. Ah, youth.
Those damn whippersnapper 16-year-old selves.
I have those conversations, too. All.the.time.
I can fold a fitted sheet.
Why do you not blog anymore?? I <3 you
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