(Disclaimer: This post features talk of lunches lost and technicolor yawn. If that is something about which you don't care to read, come back in a few days and I promise I'll discuss bunnies or Amway products.)
I feel like butt.
There is some sort of bug running rampant through the counseling department right now, and I have been selected as the newest recipient.
While I do feel like a giant bucket of yuck, I'm mostly just annoyed.
Whatever I have has decided to make me nauseated and pukey. And yes, Spell Check, pukey is a word. Bite me.
I don't know about you, but I loathe throwing up.
And the fact that I've had to do it three times in the last few hours has filled me with resentment (cause Lord knows I've cacked up everything else).
The first time got rid of my grilled cheese sandwich. The second removed my mid-afternoon snack that I noshed on while watching Whitney spill her guts to Oprah.
This last time, however, was just out of spite.
I was listening to House when all of a sudden, I recognized that feeling of urgency. As I hurried toward the bathroom, all I could think was, "But, but, but I have nothing left to give!"
My stomach didn't care, for this hateful illness has turned it against me.
Post-upchuck, I sat next to the toilet and reminisced about all the good times my stomach and I have had together.
I thought about the homemade mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving, the pancakes my dad made us on Saturday mornings, and the pie. Sweet Lord, I've eaten a lot of pie.
But it couldn't hear me, for the evil virus in my system has deafened it to my pleas for mercy.
For now, I am feeling mildly better and am hoping to have this thing beaten in a few days.
And when I have exorcised the demon, I will be taking my stomach on a date.
We've got some catching up to do.
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13 comments:
There's nothing quite like throwing up spaghetti or Ranchilladas though...that makes for messy fun!! I sit next to my toilet too...my toilet tries to seduce me, trying to talk me into taking off my clothes...I give in...then she (yes, my toilet is a she) talks me into putting my face in her big ass space, and I do...then she coaxes me to let 'er rip...and i do...foul temptress toilet...
snort-worthy post... well done good and faithful servant.
i love how you make something so vividly gross... humorous, lolz.
Be glad you didn't eat hot and sour soup....it burns coming out your face. So sorry your sick...but, just think of how skinny you'll feel next week!?
yikes stripes! sorry your sick, stay by that toilet. <3 it.
No fun! Hope you are feeling better soon. :(
I wanted to thank you for stopping by to visit. Maybe when you're feeling better you can go to DSW too. ;)
Sorry you feel so yucky! I'm still getting over what I had almost two weeks ago and it STINKS!
You went on the same cruise!?!? How cool! I definitely consumed far more treats and bread than any human being should. I definitely came back heavier than when I left!
Oh, I hate throwing up! In fact, while in labor both times I pleaded for them not to give me a certain pain medication because I was deathly afraid of getting sick to my stomach, and everything I'd read said it was a side effect. The doctors and nurses looked at me like I had three heads, but I made it through each labor without an incident, thankfully.
So I feel for you. Hope you are feeling better soon.
I loathe throwing up more than anything. I would almost do anything to avoid it. I'm sorry you are ill. :(
oh I love it! Sorry you're sick, but.... a giant bucket of yuck (we've all been there and can so relate). Thanks for the grins!
Visiting from SITS.
sweetjeanette.blogspot.com
I'm sorry you're sick. Truly. But--had you not gotten sick, we wouldn't have this colorful post, would we? So can it be that getting sick was (humor me) mildly okay after all? No? Easy to say when I'm not the one leashed to the loo, huh?
Hi again, Sara! Did you see that I linked my e-mail address up to my blog? Didja? I even added it on my main blog page. Yippee!
I hope you are feeling better. I hate yakking too. Ugh. Worse. I hate when you know you are going to get sick but you don't know which end. So you do the sit on the toilet, hover over the bucket thing. Misery.
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