I think I've got the black lung, Pop.

Some days just crawl by and today is moving about as fast as a 90-year old man behind the wheel of a coupe de ville with handicapped plates. Shut up, you know it's true.

I don't know what it is about today, but I have no energy and everything seems dull and slightly muted. It could be the craptastic weather that's taunting me through my office window or it could be my Easter lily that's dying a very slow and painful death in the corner. It could also be that I brought my lunch to work today and then hoovered it well before 11am.

I don't know what it is. To borrow yet another word from Liz Lemon, there is but one way to sum up this day: blurg.

When I get into this sort of a mood, I start doing less socially acceptable things to stay entertained. I might just start chucking pens across the room. Not with anger, mind you. I kind of like to toss them just to see them fly. It's kind of like when your cat jumps up on your dresser and knocks off every pair of earrings you have, just to see them fall, not that my cat does that with such regularity that I start to question her ability to tell time.

To borrow yet another word, I think I need to make this day spicy (thanks, Cjane). How shall I salvage this lackluster day?

1) Pick all the pens up off my floor
2) Order some Thai food for second lunch
3) Do the Robot when I think no one is looking
4) Mix up my multi-colored paper clips so it looks like I have 6 compartments of Lucky Charms on my desk
5) Walk like Naomi Campbell whenever I get up to visit the copy machine or the mail room

And one last quote from a guy I met at Indiana University, who has some of the best Facebook status updates this side of French Lick!

Carl thinks there'd better be some goddamn mind-blowing May Flowers after these April Showers.