Thoughts from an insomniac

Why is it that the second you want to go to sleep, every thought that has ever entered your head returns with a vengeance?

Suddenly, though merely two hours ago you couldn't have cared less, you start to wonder why you haven't started a compost pile yet (I mean, it's so environmentally responsible).

Hillary Swank should really stick to dramatic roles.

Should I be concerned about my LDL levels? Or was it my HDLs?

Why does Olive Garden insist on having those painfully obnoxious commercials? Not to mention, some of the most over-priced, overrated food of any chain restaurant existing? (Yeah, that's right, I said it!)

These thoughts become painfully urgent the moment I decide I'm ready to go to sleep. I mean, what made Beyonce so bitter that she wrote the new hit single "If I Were a Boy"? That song is stupid, by the way.

I'm supposed to have a voice lesson tomorrow but as it is now 1:16am and I'm still going strong, I foresee that lesson being canceled. This is not the smartest choice as I now have a part in a local production and should be working my croutons off to not suck anymore.

I just did a quick mental check and I will be attending at least 4 weddings in the next 6 months. All this marital business has forced me to re-evaluate my thoughts on this time-honored tradition.

When I was younger, I suppose the concept of marriage was romanticized by movies and the trashy romance novels I all but inhaled (damn you, Nora Roberts) and I ate it up like a pint of Ben and Jerry's Karamel Sutra (try it, I implore you).

The more I think about it now, the more I find I want someone who will hang out with me on a Saturday afternoon, ignoring personal hygiene and scarfing down fun-sized Snickers from last year's Halloween candy, whilst arguing about what is more useless: dust ruffles or pillow shams?

Could I do that for a lifetime? Um, I already do.